“Forget Regrets” – Luke 22:54-62

Any Frank Sinatra fans out there?  Do you remember this song?

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.  (My Way)

How about you?  Do you have any regrets?  I sure do.  My latest big regret was not saving this sermon on my computer and losing everything Friday night.  So, I had to go back through and rewrite it and rethink it all so we are going to do things a little different this morning.  Friday night I was ready to forget the former things including this sermon and just ask for testimonies but God got me up early Saturday morning to do it a little different and I’m glad.

I said jokingly I was ready to forget the former things but that is exactly what we have been called to do.  As individuals and as a church, God tells us in Isaiah 43:18 and 19 to

¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.”

He is going to take us through the wilderness and into the wasteland providing everything we need along the way.  All we have to do is NOT bring our baggage.  We can’t bring our baggage of unforgiveness because that is a sin.  We can’t bring our baggage of anger because nobody will believe we are really a disciple of Jesus if we bring our anger issues and we can’t bring our baggage of regrets because the mistakes we have made in the past tend to skew our vision of the future God has for us.

Everybody has regrets, right?  You know, I asked my dad a while back about what regrets he had in this life and he said he really didn’t have any.  He was serious too.  He said he has made some mistakes and his life hasn’t been perfect by any means.  I think he looked at me a little too close at that point, but anyway.  He said he has no real regrets and I think that is part of what Jesus was talking about in John 10:10 when He said He came to give us an abundant life.  Getting to be 80 years old and not having any regrets?  I’ll call that an abundant life!

I have some pictures of some people who are probably having some regrets in their life.  (Show bad tattoos)

I’m thinking about getting a tattoo at the top of my back that says “Kick Me” written in Chinese letters.  That way I can tell people it says whatever I want to tell them depending on who I’m talking to, right?  “God Is Love” or some great quote.  But when a Chinese person sees it they will think I’m just an idiot but the joke’s really on them…sort of.  I guess it’s really on me and I’ll probably regret that, huh?

Regret.  So, here’s where we do things a little differently.  I’m going to get y’all more involved than normal, sort of like how we do on Sunday evenings at 6:00.  If you don’t usually come on Sunday evening, you are missing out on one of my favorite times of worship.  It’s very casual and if you want to say something you can but you don’t have to.  But I have some questions for you.

What is regret?  Regret means to feel sad or sorry about something that you did or did not do.  What do you say when you have regret?  I’m sorry.  What do you do when you have regret?  You usually try to make it up or make it right.  Is regret a sin?  No.  Is all regret caused by sin?  Not necessarily.  Does all sin lead to regret?  Yes.  Sooner or later.

Does God have regret?  Genesis 6:6 says, “The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.”  1 Samuel 15:11 God says, “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.”

Who else in the Bible showed regret?  Judas, for one. Matthew 27:3.  Let’s look at one of the worst cases of regret in Luke 22:54-62.  I love me some Peter.  I do.  I appreciate him so much because I see myself in him.  I’m a tough guy.  I can do this.  No problem.  Let me show you how it’s…Lord, I messed up again.  Would you please forgive me and help me? 

Just prior to the passage we are about to read, Jesus was having the last supper with His disciples and He said, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me.”  But Peter, the tough guy, the brave warrior, said, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”  I can’t help but read that and hear John Wayne’s voice.  “Well, I never will, pilgrim.”

 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”  ³⁵ But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” 

Now, you know how this is going to end, don’t you?  Even if you have never heard this story before, you know how it’s going to end.  Well, even if you do, let’s read it in Luke 22:54-62. 


Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. ⁵⁵ And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. ⁵⁶ A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”  ⁵⁷ But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.  ⁵⁸ A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”  “Man, I am not!” Peter replied.  ⁵⁹ About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”  ⁶⁰ Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶¹ The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” ⁶² And he went outside and wept bitterly.


I realized something as I studied this.  I realized that this story is found in all four of the Gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John but only John was there for any of it and his version is the shortest.  He and Peter went together, following Jesus from a distance but got separated at some point.  So, how did they get this whole story?


While the whole Bible is inspired by God, I believe this had to have been told by Peter himself.  Now, I’m of the opinion that a good story needs to be told even if it makes me look bad but this is too much.  This is over the top.  I think I would have conveniently forgotten this former thing if I was Peter and made John promise to forget whatever he knew as well.  But he didn’t.  He told this horribly regretful story.  Why do you think he did?


I think Peter told it because he knew that it would be helpful to somebody else someday even if it made him look bad and because the whole story makes Jesus look so good and we will get to that in a minute.  Did Peter have regret?  Absolutely.  In verse 62 it says he wept “bitterly”.  That’s not a mild remorse that made him get a little misty-eyed.  This is an uncontrollable ugly cry; the kind that hurts you just to see somebody go through it.


What made it worse was the look Jesus gave him in verse 61.  Did you ever get in trouble as a kid and your mother just stared at you in utter disappointment?  Happened to me just this week.  Not really, but I remember that look and I remember wishing she would just haul off and slug me.  It would have been better.  I can only imagine how bad it was for Peter.  Not only had he NOT done what he said he would do but he betrayed Jesus at the worst possible time and Jesus knew it.


What is the real problem with regret?  I heard the quote, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”  (Johnathan Larson) I like the sentiment but it needs to be more specific.  Forget regret or the life God wants for you, the full and abundant life, is yours to miss.  Should Peter have had regret?  Of course, he should.  Regret is a God-given feeling that should motivate us to change and do better.  The problem comes when we dwell on it and don’t move past it.  We should regret some things but we should then choose to forget it and move on.


When they were building the golf hall of fame they were looking for some good golf quotes to go on the wall so somebody suggested the most common phrase heard on the golf course: “Uh oh!”


A golfer was being interviewed one time and said that bad shots are just part of the game but you have to learn from them and move on because golf is such a mental game that if you keep replaying that bad shot in your mind your tendency is to do it again which just makes the situation worse and worse.  Life can sure be that way.


Don’t you know that was the longest weekend of Peter’s life.  Not only had his friend and savior been murdered but he didn’t even do anything about it.  In fact, he betrayed Him and that scene, that look from Jesus, the words he said, his denials kept coming back to haunt him.  Every time a rooster crowed, he cringed.  He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, his mind racing with, “What I should have said is…” and “What I should have done was…”


You know the feeling, don’t you?  It’s good to remember it just long enough to learn from it.  Decide now what you are going to do in the future if you get in a similar situation but don’t dwell on the past because God is doing a new thing.  Do you not perceive it?  If it is sin, then repent of it and accept God’s forgiveness whether you feel forgiven or not.


2 Corinthians 7:10 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret.”  If it’s sin, you should have regret.  You should have sorrow that you did it but then repent of it and have no lingering regrets to focus on.  When we sin, how do we make it up to God?  What do we do that makes us even with God after we sin?  If we do something really good, does that tip the scale back to our favor and we get into God’s good graces again?  No.  There is nothing we can DO to make it right.  All we can do is ask for forgiveness, accept that forgiveness and move on with our lives.


It’s the same with our regrets.  Satan wants you to focus on that regret, replaying it over and over again so that you are distracted from focusing on what God wants for you.  He wants you to try to spend all your time trying to figure out what you need to do to make up for that bad choice but do you know what God wants you to do?


In the great old hymn, At The Cross, that is on page 139 of the hymnal in front of you, the very last verse says:

But drops of grief can ne'er repay
The debt of love I owe Here, Lord, I give myself away
'Tis all that I can do


That’s the answer to our regrets.  We can’t fix it.  We can’t change it.  We can’t make it even with God or earn His love.  All we can do is go on from here giving ourselves away.  Do you want a good example of this?  If anybody, ever should have been burdened with regret, it should have been Paul.  Before Paul met Jesus on that road, he was a bad guy.  He did some really bad things against God and hurt a lot of people.


But you never hear Paul whining about that.  Of course he felt horrible about that but he couldn’t change the past so he just made a plan for the future.  Paul said in Philippians 3, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


It’s like that old Paul had read Isaiah 43:18-19.  Do you remember what it says?  Forget the former things.  Paul said he forgot what is behind and he had no room for baggage like unforgiveness, anger, regrets, bad habits, worry or pride because he was straining toward what was ahead knowing God would reward him for what he did from then on.


Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because Jesus set me free from the law of sin and death and that includes all regret.  That’s my translation of it.  But you have to be “in Christ”.  What does it mean to be “in Christ”?  It means to truly have Him as your Lord.  Notice it doesn’t say anything about going to church in there.  You don’t have to be “in church”.  You have to be “in Christ” with Him as your daily guide; with a relationship with Him that is stronger today than it was yesterday.


Now, church is one of the places that relationship gets stronger but church doesn’t save you.  Your parents’ relationship with Jesus doesn’t save you.  You can’t do enough good works or be good enough.  Even if you lived a life without regrets, you still have to know Jesus and go through Him to get to Heaven.  That’s what He said in John 14:6. Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth and the Life and no man comes to the Father except through me.


Do you know Him today?


Invitation / Prayer


Picture this if you can.  Mary goes to the tomb on the third day and finds it empty; well almost empty.  Jesus wasn’t there but there was an angel sitting there and the angel tried not to scare her but, you know, he’s an angel.  He said, “Don’t be afraid.  Jesus isn’t here.  He has risen.  Now go tell the disciples AND PETER!” In other words, make sure Pete gets the message.  Jesus wanted to make sure.  (Mark 16)


Later on, Jesus shows Himself to the disciples and makes a beeline for Peter.  I bet Peter didn’t know if he should hug Jesus or run for the hills.  But Jesus never brought up the rooster crowing incident, did He?  What did He tell Peter?  If you love me, you will feed my sheep and feed them he did from then on.  Peter was so full of the Holy Spirit and full of God’s grace and mercy that he forgot the former things and he strained toward what was ahead and became a miracle-working preacher who led thousands to faith in Jesus.


Years later, when Peter wrote his book, the very first thing he says was not an apology for that whole denial of Jesus thing.  He didn’t bring it up at all.  Do you know what Peter said?  1 Peter 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth!”


Don’t you know Peter felt like he really had been born again?  So have you.  Now live like it.

Forget Anger – Genesis 4:2-8

I have a confession to make.  It’s not so much of a sin as it is something that might make me look bad.  My confession is that I talk back to my TV…a lot.  It doesn’t happen so much when I’m watching a movie.  I don’t usually try to tell the actors, “Don’t go in there!” or anything like that.  I do most of my talking to the news.  It starts out with my critiquing what the newscasters are wearing.  You know, because I’m so qualified to do that.

“Really Mark?  A paisley tie with a striped shirt?  C,mon man, you’re better than that.”  Or, “Sandra, your husband lied to you this morning because that dress really does make you look fat.”  Is that wrong of me?  I asked a male reporter the other day, “Did a wild animal gnaw on your eyebrows?  What’s going on up there?”  I tell reporters all the time, “Oh, no!  HD is not your friend.”

Am I the only one?  Should I feel bad?  Maybe I need to repent.  I don’t know.  But what really gets me going is when I hear something that makes me mad.  The other day I heard a congresswoman saying how her conscience wouldn’t let her go to the Trump inauguration.  Now I’m standing up yelling at the TV, “What’s that gonna prove?  What are you trying to accomplish by disrespecting the president?  What have you done lately, ya bozo?”  Made me so mad.

Tell me I’m not the only one that does that.  Do you think I need anger management?  Some of you might think I need therapy because I talk to the TV but do you think my anger is a problem?  Am I sinning?  To tell you the truth, I’ll holler and rant at the TV and then I’m done.  It’s out of my system and I don’t think much about it anymore.

The same day I saw that congresswoman interviewed, I went later that evening to my parents’ house and a bunch of family was there and somebody said, “Can you believe these people who are boycotting the inauguration?”  I said, “I know.  So immature.”  And that was all I said.  I wasn’t mad.  I had screamed at the TV that morning but by then I felt fine.

So, how do we know when we have an anger problem?  I don’t think I do.  But how do we know and who decides?  Is anger a sin?  No.  Can it lead to sin?  Yes, easily.  So, when does that happen and how do we keep it from happening?  Should we ever get mad or should we always be calm and mellow?  Is it ever appropriate?  Does God get mad?  Is He mad now?

I have a lot of questions, don’t I?  Does that make you mad?  Well, anger is definitely a problem for a lot of people, even Christians, so we are going to look at a passage today that will help answer a lot of those questions.  Because it’s a problem and because at Christ Fellowship we are looking to start off our 2017 by forgetting the former things, right?  Do you remember where that passage is found?  Isaiah 43:18-19 tell us that.  It says,

“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.”

If God is going to provide for us as He takes us through the wilderness and into the wasteland then we better not be holding on to those things that would hinder that journey, right?  We talked about forgiveness recently and we know that the Bible teaches that not to forgive someone who has hurt you is sin and sin puts a barrier between us and God.  Somebody called it a blessing-blocker and that is just what sin is.  It blocks us from all the ways God wants to protect and provide for us so let’s forget them and don’t dwell on the things of the past.  God is doing a new thing.  Do you not perceive it?

Anger, in and of itself is not sinful but it easily leads to sin so let’s turn to the very first book of the Bible and see what God tells us about anger and how to manage it; how to keep it from becoming sin and the consequences of it when it does.

Genesis 4 raises a lot of questions for a lot of people but this is just another example of the Bible telling us what we need to know and not telling us what we don’t need to know.  I believe we have a real responsibility to find out exactly what scripture is saying and what it means for us today but that does not mean that we can or should “fill in the gaps” or “read between the lines” of scripture.

We may use the Old Testament to help understand the New Testament and vice versa but if the Bible doesn’t answer your question, it’s probably not a good question.  Genesis 4 introduces Adam and Eve’s two sons, Cain and Abel, and the first thing some people try to figure out is how many kids Adam and Eve had; where did they live and what did they look like?  It doesn’t matter if they were green and had bananas growing out of their ears.  I want to know what God says about anger so let’s read Genesis 4:2-8.

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. ³ In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. ⁴ And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, ⁵ but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.  ⁶ Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”  ⁸ Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.


Now, as much as we would like to make this about cowboys versus farmers or say that this proves that even God doesn’t like vegetables, it is not about that.  We don’t know exactly why God approved of Abel’s sacrifice but not Cain’s.  It is not in here.  We are told in Hebrews 11:4 that by faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did.  That’s all we know and that’s okay.  That’s not the point. 


The point is that Cain was angry about it.  The original Hebrew word is charah and it means to glow or grow hot; to blaze up.  Cain was burning mad that God showed favor to Abel and not him.  I read that men with anger issues often describe their anger as a fire or flood raging inside them whereas women describe it more often as slowly building.


The physical problems associated with anger issues are almost unbelievable.  Anger leads to higher blood pressure and cholesterol.  It causes heart problems, liver and kidney damage.  It can lead to anxiety and depression.  Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to early death. (Jeff Yalden)


Yet, I am here to tell you we have a much greater concern with the issue of anger than physical death and that is spiritual death, the death of your walk with the Lord and the death of your witness to anybody else because nothing in this world screams, “I’m an unbelieving, atheistic, non-Christian, no-faith-having, worldly fool” like uncontrolled anger.


You can go to church all the time and have lots of scripture memorized and have a passion for Jesus and other people.  You can minister to the poor, addicted and incarcerated.  You can tithe and sing solos and teach Sunday School and you will still be this church’s greatest enemy if you can’t control the anger in your life.


Cain was already feeling the effects of anger in verse 6.  God asks him why his face is downcast.  He is angry and sad.  It probably stems from jealousy.  There may be low self-esteem issues.  I’m sure there are control issues here but it all manifests itself as anger and God, Who not only sees the heart, sees it on his face.  Then God asks Cain, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?”

That word “accepted’ here originally means to be lifted up and it is directed specifically toward Cain’s face that was hanging down but it means to be happy.  “Cain, if you do what is right, you will be happy.”  Then God goes on to say, “But if you continue on this path and you don’t do what is right, sin is waiting to pounce on you like a lion to eat you up.”


Then God ends with, “But you must master it.”  To anybody with anger issues, God is saying the same thing today.  You MUST master it.  My dear family, if you are going to live the full and abundant life that Jesus talks about wanting for you in John 10:10, you MUST master this problem.  I’ll be honest with you.  If this church is going to survive and thrive and go, do and be what God has called us to, then we must forget the former things like unforgiveness and anger.  We MUST!


The first issue with anger is admitting you have a problem with it.  We all know of people with anger issues and so many of them, if you were to ask them, would deny they have a problem.  Or, if they do admit it, they don’t want to change.  I hear people say all the time, “Yes, I’m hot-tempered but that’s just who I am.  That’s the way I’ve always been and that’s how my daddy and grand-daddy were so that’s how I am and if you don’t like it, stay away from me.”


One woman told her pastor basically that and said, “I just pop off sometimes.  I can’t help it.”  The pastor said, “Yes, you pop off like a shotgun and everybody around you gets hit with the blast.  You MUST master it!”


Tonight at 6 pm we are going to look at some more specific ways to cool off when we feel the temperature of anger rising up in us but this morning let me give you some biblical advice on how to master the problem of anger.  It’s difficult, no doubt, and won’t happen overnight but if you sincerely pray and ask God for help with it, soon you can add anger to the list of things you have forgotten in 2017.


Almost all sin and most certainly anger stems from a root of pride.  We get our feelings hurt.  Somebody is not being sensitive to our needs and that makes us mad.  Pride will mess you up in all kinds of ways.  Proverbs 10:4 says, “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”  That’s not just talking about an unbeliever.  A proud Christian will not be thinking about God.  They are thinking of themselves.  When you are thinking of yourself, it’s easier to get mad.  1 John 1:9 says to confess your sins – including and especially the sin of pride – and God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.


Something else the Bible teaches about handling the problem of anger is to see that God is allowing certain situations in your life for a reason.  I love the verse in Genesis 50 (20) where Joseph sees his brothers who had years ago tried to kill him and he tells them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

God is sovereign over every circumstance and person that crosses our path. Nothing happens to us that He does not cause or allow. Though God does allow bad things to happen, He is always faithful to redeem them for the good of His people. (www.gotquestions.org/anger)


James 1:2 says to “Consider it all pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  I told you it was difficult but we MUST master it.



Another piece of biblical advice on how to control anger and not let it control you is to know, understand and accept that, in His sovereignty, and because He loves you and is in control, God will repay those who hurt His children.  Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” That sounds pretty good, right?

But it also leads us to the last bit of advice for this morning and that is found in the very next verse where it says, “^On the contrary,

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”


Some of you know that the best way to get rid of an enemy is to make him your friend.  Fight anger with love even when you don’t feel like it.  You have heard the phrase, “Living well is the best revenge.”  That’s not true.  Living right; living merciful; living generously, living forgiving – living loving is the best way to get revenge because it’s not revenge at all.  Revenge is unnecessary when you live biblically.


I saw a cartoon the other day that showed an older couple sitting together on the couch.  The old man says, “In all these years together you never got mad at me.  How did you do it?”  The old woman says, “Oh, I got mad at you plenty of times.”  He said, “You never showed it.  How did you handle it?”  She said, “I just cleaned the bathroom.”  “Cleaned the bathroom?  How did that help?”  She said, “I used your toothbrush.”


We MUST master this issue of anger but it’s not easy.  None of this is easy.  In fact, it’s impossible, isn’t it?  With God all things are possible. (Matt. 19:26)  But it takes more than just a prayer to ask Him for help.  It takes a relationship; a relationship that lasts a lifetime; a lifetime of walking with Him and talking with Him and finding out what pleases Him.  Once a week church doesn’t cut it, that’s for sure.  In the song, He Walks With Me, it says,


And He walks with me and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known


Do you have that joy?  Do you have peace in your life?  Would you like to?  Admit you are a sinner.  Admit it to God right now in prayer as we close our eyes and bow our heads.  Admit you are a sinner and ask Him to forgive you of your sin, including the sin of pride and of all the sins that anger leads to.


In John 14:6, Jesus says He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him.  Believe that today and ask Jesus to come into your life to change it, take away what needs to go and bring in what you do need.


Romans 10:9 says, “If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”  Do that today.  Accept Him and the peace and joy that comes with Him and become a child of God and co-heir with Jesus to all the good things Heaven has to offer.  It’s the only way.

Forget Unforgiveness, Part 2

Use your imagination with me for just a minute and let’s pretend that you are about to go on a trip.  You don’t know exactly where you are going or for how long you will be gone but you know that every day your food and lodging will be taken care of.  What do you bring and what do you not need?

You might bring a pocket knife, your driver’s license, a good pair of shoes, a compass, flashlight, etc.  Now, what do you not need on this trip?  Do you need to tote along this fine-looking burden of anger?  (Pull out longhorn horns) No, you don’t need that, do you?

How about these cartons of regret?  (Pull out cartons of eggs) Are these regrets going to help you on your trip?  No, they are only going to hinder you, aren’t they?  I know.  How about these filthy rags of bad habits?  Will these help you get where you want to go?  I know what you need when you go on a long hike.  You need this big old TV of worry, right?  That’ll help you get there.

None of these are going to help you get where you are going, are they?  In fact, most of them will be real hindrances to going where you are supposed to go.  Anger, regret, bad habits and worry are all huge hindrances when God says in Isaiah 43:18-19 that we should forget about the past because He is making a way for us in the desert and in the wasteland.

Let’s look at that once again.  Turn to Isaiah 43:18-19 as we continue our series starting out the new year by forgetting the former things.  Isaiah 43:18-19 says,

“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.”

Now, if God is preparing a way for us, doing a new thing by taking us on a trip as individuals and as a church to places we have never been, we know we can trust Him, right?  He promises to take care of us and to protect and provide for us but we must let go of all the things that would hinder us so we can be, go and do all that He wants us to.  The problem is, though, that we want to hang on to some of our old baggage although none of it is going to help us on our trip.

None of it is any more of a hindrance than our chains…of unforgiveness.  (Pull out big bucket of chains.)  Yea, this is what you need.  This will really help you be, go and do what God wants.  See, when you haul this around, it teaches the other guy a lesson, doesn’t it?  It teaches him you’re crazy maybe because all you have to do is let go and forget it and don’t dwell on it.  But it’s hard.  I know it is.  But it’s possible and we are going to see how today.

Last week we looked at why we should forgive and this week we are going to see how.  Do you remember why we should forgive from last week?  We should forgive because we have been forgiven and because it is a command.  Unforgiveness is a sin that puts a barrier between us and God just like any other sin.  But unforgiveness doesn’t just poison us.  It poisons our family and friends and our church and Jesus said in Matthew 6:15 that if we don’t forgive our brother, then the Father won’t forgive us.

That’s serious.  So, let’s look this week at some practical ways we can learn to forgive people that have hurt us by starting out in Luke chapter 17 and let’s read verses 1-6.  As we do, I want you to put yourselves in the place of the disciples that Jesus is teaching here.  They have been following Jesus for a while and almost every day it seems He tells them some other difficult saying or teaching.

Today is no different.  Let’s read Luke 17:1-6.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. ² It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. ³ So watch yourselves.

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. ⁴ Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

⁵ The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

⁶ He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.

I think one of these days I’m going to write a commentary and in my commentary I will spend very little time explaining all the wonderful minutiae regarding the number “7” in this passage.  I’m going to spend very little time and ink explaining all there is to know about just how small a mustard seed is and even less time and space about how the vast roots of a mulberry tree grow.  Do you know why? Because it doesn’t matter.

You don’t have to know how many milligrams a mustard seed weighs.  Don’t get bogged down on the trivia especially when the big idea of passages like this are so incredible and life-changing.  The apostles didn’t get bogged down with it.  When Jesus mentioned the number “7”, what did they say?  “Well, now Andrew, you know that the number “7” is the perfect number, used by the perfect man to symbolize completeness…”

No!  They said, “Increase our faith!”  What they were saying was, “Jesus, we believe you but we don’t feel like we are able to do that.  Would you please help us?”  And in the saying of that they proved to be right where they needed to be.  This is the absolute best thing they could have said.  It was similar to when Jesus asked Peter who Peter thought Jesus was in Matthew 16 and Peter wisely answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” and Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by My Father in heaven.”

I believe the words, “Increase our faith” were also revealed by God because that is not human nature.  Human nature would have been to first get bogged down talking about what exactly “7” meant but then to say, “Lord, increase our hope” or maybe “Increase our love” or even “Increase our revenge” but the disciples understood that the only way they were ever going to be able to do something so extreme as to forgive someone over and over again was through faith.

Martin Luther said, “God our Father has made all things depend on faith so that whoever has faith will have everything, and whoever does not have faith will have nothing.”  You sure won’t have true forgiveness time after time without faith.

So, I hope you feel just like the apostles did about forgiveness.  I hope you feel overwhelmed by the thought of truly forgiving that person who has hurt you and I hope you will rely on your faith in Jesus to help you because it is your faith in Him that God has given you that will allow you to truly forgive.

But there is more to it than just saying, “God, I can’t forgive them.  Please do it.”  Just like there is more to it than just saying, “God, I can’t lose weight.  Please help me” while you sit on the couch eating bon-bons.  Just like there is more to it than just saying s, “God, I can’t memorize scripture.  Please help me” while you sit there and watch TV.  We have a part to play in forgiveness.  In fact, we have three parts.

The first part is mental, the next is physical and the other is spiritual.  Mentally, we have to know why to forgive, like we talked about last week.  We also need to know what forgiveness is and how to know when we have done it.  To know what forgiveness is, we have to know why it is ever needed.  Forgiveness is needed because somebody owes you a debt.  Maybe the debt is mental or physical or financial.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s still a debt.

Whether I steal from you or gossip about you or punch you in the mouth, I owe you a debt, don’t I?  Now, the easiest way that works out is if I come to you and apologize and ask for your forgiveness.  In verse 3, Jesus says to rebuke the person who owes you a debt.  “Rebuke” means to exert pressure upon or to find fault or to charge someone just like Jesus rebuked the winds and they stopped blowing.

Jesus says to go to that person and tell them how you feel, what you want, how you see the facts.  Tell them they owe you a debt.  It means to get it out in the open.  Don’t keep it in but sure don’t go tell somebody else about it.  We are also told to speak the truth in love and we know that the goal of this is to restore the relationship.  It’s not about embarrassing them or shaming them.  That’s not love.  Then, if done correctly, and that person asks for forgiveness, then you give it.  You cancel the debt.  You erase it.  Gone forever.

So, that’s all you have to do.  It’s real easy.  Just forgive.  Now, thanks for coming out.  See ya later.  Right?  Don’t you wish it were always that easy?  Sometimes it works that way but what about when the other person won’t talk to you or when they have hurt you terribly and then moved or even died?  What if they don’t care if they hurt you or don’t care if you ever forgive them?

Ooh, here’s where we get to the good stuff.  I looked up the word “forgive” in my big Bible concordance.  I started not to because we all know what the word means, right?  But I thought it might be interesting to see how Jesus was using it and at first I thought I might have looked up the wrong word.  That’s easy to do in some concordances.  It said the word means to leave, let alone or lay aside; to desert, omit, or leave behind like a dying companion; to leave destitute.  That’s fascinating to me.

Notice, though, that it doesn’t say anything about forgetting.  Linking forgiveness with forgetting is a mistake; a mistake that Satan loves for you to make because Satan prowls around like a roaring lion looking to see who he can devour and if God won’t allow Satan to devour you, Satan will gladly accept you being devoured by the sin and the cancer that is unforgiveness.  Satan’s okay with that.  In fact, it will do the job for him if we choose to let it.

So, here’s how to truly forgive.  Based on everything we have read in scripture the last two weeks, if you want to choose forgiveness; if you want to truly forget the former things and not dwell on the past so that you are ready, willing and able to go, do and be what God wants for you this year, here is how you forgive.

You first have to make the choice and decide that you want to.  I told you there is a mental part and a spiritual part and this is all mental. That’s hard enough sometimes but we now know that unforgiveness is a sin that puts a real barrier between us and God so we have decided to let it go.  We decide to forgive because we have been forgiven by God a much greater debt – a debt we could never pay.  So we choose to forgive those who owe us debts as well.

This is not saying that it was okay that they did what they did or that it didn’t really hurt.  You aren’t saying that you have forgotten it.  You are just saying that the debt is forgiven, erased and gone forever.

If possible, go to the person and lovingly talk about the debt that is owed and if they agree then you forgive and the relationship is restored.  Easy peasy.  But if that’s not possible, here’s what you do.  You have decided you want to forgive that person and if you can’t talk to them about it, you still need to clarify what the debt is.  So, write it down.  That’s the physical part.  I’m serious.  Write down what happened and why you are owed this debt.

Now, read it.  Speak it out.  Say it out loud.  I recommend doing this by yourself or maybe with a close friend but this is important.  Read it out loud and let it all out.  Spill all the gory details if you want and then once you have read it – do you remember the definition of forgive?  To leave, let alone or lay aside; to desert, omit, or leave behind like a dying companion. 

I recommend burning it.  Maybe you want to take it to the gun range and blow holes all through it until nothing is left.  You can bury it, drown it in the lake but whatever you do, leave it like the dying companion that it is.  Leave it alone.  Never go back.  Do you know why this is so important?  This is important because Satan is going to come to you later and try to tell you that you didn’t really forgive.  You didn’t do it right or didn’t do it enough or that there is still some kind of debt.

“Excuse me, father of lies, but I don’t know what you are talking about.  Did you not see me shoot that thing to smithereens?  I burned it and buried it and I never went back for its remains.  There is no debt.  That has been forgiven.  I made the choice mentally and physically to forgive that debt and it no longer exists.  Bye now.”

Those are the mental and physical parts that we have to do to forgive.  Now let’s end with the spiritual part of it.  Because even after all that, you are still going to wake up in the middle of the night and start remembering what happened, letting it replay in your mind and it’s going to start robbing you of your peace and joy.  This will happen because you can’t just forget history.  None of this is about forgetting.  It doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt or that it is okay what the other person did.  All you can do is forgive the debt.

But you can’t even do that by yourself, not when the hurt is so deep.  So, this is where you come to Jesus just like the apostles did and you say, “Lord, I believe you but I don’t feel like I am able to do that.  Would you please help me?” 

“Lord, I come to you with all the faith I can manage.  It’s not much but my faith is in You.  I have faith that you will give me the gift of joy and peace and allow me to truly forgive this person, not because of anything I have done but because I have this relationship with you and based on what you have done in the past through the Old Testament and into the New Testament and into my life, would you please continue to work out this forgiveness?  I can’t do it without You.”

That’s just what Jesus wants to hear and what He wants to do in your life.  Who do you need to forgive today?

Invitation / Prayer

One last thing about forgiveness:  while you are praying for God’s help to forgive, start asking Him to help you pray for that person who hurt you.  You may not be able to pray anything except God help them get run over by a bus.  But that’s not what you want to pray.  Ask God to help you.  Start out by praying for wisdom for that person.  Every time you think of them say a prayer for them.  Then see if God doesn’t help you with that forgiveness.