"Good Grief" - Part III - John 11:1-44

It’s no secret that I have lots of questions.  It’s not uncommon for me to start with a question and I usually have more as we go along.  Then Sunday nights I have lots of questions usually about the morning message.  I like to ask questions on Wednesday nights and when I see you through the week it’s usually more questions, right?  Well, I would like to ask some more questions this morning.  Most of these you may want to think about before answering.  I’ve said before that all of us are kind of weird and these are some of the questions that pop into my mind.  Questions like:

If our knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?  What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?  When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?  Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.  Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?  What do people in China call their good plates?

Like I say you may want to think about some of those before you answer and that’s fine.  It’s just some of the questions I have so be glad I don’t keep going.  Some people have other kinds of questions.  Some people are deep thinkers and while I ponder fancy ketchup, they are asking questions like “How can we have free will and yet God be sovereign?”  Or “What do we have to do to find a cure for cancer?”

Other people ask questions out of regret.  These questions often accompany grief or loss of some sort.  They ask questions such as, “What if I had done better, could I have kept my job?”  It may be a question that is not necessarily a desperate question like, “Now what did I do with my keys?” or “Which of you 3 dogs chewed up the remote?”  But feelings of desperate regret often lead to questions such as, “What if he had not died?”  or even, “If I had done something else, would she still be alive?”

Experts would tell us that questions like that need to be asked, answered as well as you can and then moved on from.  You don’t want to act like those questions aren’t there and yet you also don’t want to dwell on them for months on end.  They are normal and natural and even a good part of grief to go through but can be destructive if left to focus on endlessly.

Then some people have questions of regret for God that they assume will never be answered.  They ask things like, “What if God had just healed them?” or “Why did God do this to me?” or “Where was God when all this happened?”

As we conclude our sermon series on grief, I would like to help you try to answer some of those questions.  We will never be able to explain every bad thing that happens to us but the Bible does help us to know some of the reasons.  We have the same exact outline for today as we have the other 2 Sundays but I again hope to see something completely different in this message as we look at the book of John.

The book of John is a powerful resource for a lot of issues we have today.  John is a little bit different than the other Gospels.  It talks a lot about faith and trust and has some of the most memorable stories and verses in the Bible.  Today I would like to look at a fascinating story in which we will again see our response to grief and also God’s response to our grief but with the twist being that God shows His grief in the body of the man Jesus and I want to focus more on that this time as well.

Turn to John 11 and we will read verses 1-44.  It’s quite a few verses but you need to get the context of what is going on to better understand it.

 

Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. ² (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) ³ So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”⁴ When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” ⁵ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶ So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, ⁷ and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”⁸ “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”⁹ Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. ¹⁰ It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”¹¹ After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” ¹² His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” ¹³ Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. ¹⁴ So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, ¹⁵ and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” ¹⁶ Then Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”  On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸ Now Bethany was less than two miles^[b] from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. ²⁰ When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. ²¹ “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” ²³ Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” ²⁴ Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” ²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” ²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” ²⁸ After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” ²⁹ When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. ³⁰ Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. ³¹ When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. ³² When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. ³⁵ Jesus wept. ³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” ³⁸ Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹ “Take away the stone,” he said. “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” ⁴⁰ Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” ⁴¹ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴² I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” ⁴³ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

When Martin Luther’s daughter Magdalena was 14 years old she got sick and died.  As they laid her to rest Luther said, “Oh my dear Magdalena, I know you will rise and shine like the stars in the sky.  How strange to be so sorrowful and yet to know that all is at peace, that all is well.”

Grief has a way of bringing out all of your emotions, sometimes all at once.  In the course of just minutes you may feel sorrow and happiness, anxiety and relief or even anger and joy.  In looking at our response to our grief I want you to see first the response of Martha and Mary.  In verse 21 Martha tells Jesus, “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  With the written word we miss out on the inflection and we don’t know exactly how Martha said this but can’t you just hear the mixed emotions in her voice?

There is faith in her voice.  She knows Jesus could have saved him.  And yet at the same time there is a hint of blame in there as well.  There is some part of her that puts some of the blame for the death on Him.  And I guarantee you she didn’t want to feel that way.  She loved Jesus.  Jesus spent lots of time with Martha, Mary and Lazarus and had eaten lots of meals and spent lots of time with them and was a good friend.  I’m sure there had been lots of laughs and good times spent sitting around a table or walking down the road together.  They had a relationship much like we can have a relationship with Jesus even today.

But because she knows He could have healed Lazarus, there is a part of her, as she goes through the grief process that is put out with Jesus because He didn’t show up in time and heal him.

Then look at verse 32.  What does Mary say?  She uses the exact same words.  “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  In fact, the same sentiment is expressed by the Jews in verse 37.  “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

You know what that tells me?  That tells me they were talking.  Mary and Martha and the others were sitting around consoling themselves and they had all been talking about how, if Jesus had just been here He could have saved Lazarus.  Now some of these people referred to just as “Jews” may have been professional mourners but I’m sure some of them were friends of the family as well.  They were there to help.  They truly wanted to help Martha and Mary through their journey through grief and so they sat with them and talked and as they talked they all came to the conclusion that Jesus could have saved him.

There was probably even some anger mixed with the regret as they talked about it.  And I would like to assure this morning that to feel some anger toward God is natural.  It’s one thing for an elderly person to die who has been sick for a long time.  You can understand that is the natural order of things and everybody is going to die unless Jesus returns for us beforehand.  It is another thing to lose a loved one in their prime or to lose a child or what about a divorce or the loss of a job or the loss of some relationship?

When you go to God in fervent prayer as David did in last week’s message and you fast and pray and cry and beg and plead and yet the relationship still ends or the child dies it is natural to feel some bit of anger to God.  I didn’t say it was right, I said it was natural because He tells us to have faith and He tells us to bring it to Him and that is how Martha and Mary felt right now.  They knew He could…but He didn’t.

My aunt and uncle had 2 kids and named the youngest one Graham.  When Graham was 6 years old he died from Leukemia.  I called my aunt this week and asked her about it.  I was wondering if she had gone through any anger issues with God.  That was 36 years ago but I know she thinks about Graham often and so I was anxious to hear how she got through it and how she got over being mad at God.  Her response surprised me some.

She said that she had not had any anger issues because she knew that whatever reason God had in allowing Graham to die so soon that she knew it was for the glory of God.  She said that it was, of course, extremely painful; just knowing that God had a reason didn’t make it any less real; but she was able to get through it without anger because she knew God had a way of bringing glory to Himself through it.

That, my friends, does not come from a baby Christian.  The ability to accept that peace and comfort comes from someone who has more than just some head-knowledge of Jesus.  That comes from someone who has given their life and their thoughts and their wishes over to God.  This is someone who is not leaning on their own understanding but is in all her ways acknowledging Him and having her paths directed by Him.

She said she didn’t know what the reason was but she did know that through this situation my cousin Bill accepted Jesus into his life and she knows it has been used as an illustration in several sermons.  She didn’t know when I talked to her that it was going to be used in one more but I have an idea that while she said she didn’t know why God allowed it that she had just told me at least part of the reason right there.  It was for God’s glory.

And that leads me to the second part of the outline as we look at how God responds to our grief.  Look back at verse 4.  Jesus has just gotten the word that Lazarus is sick and He tells his disciples that this sickness will not end in death but it will be so that Jesus gets glory from it.  I propose to you this morning that every instance of grief is an opportunity for God to get glory.

 

 Just knowing that God has a reason doesn’t mean that you should pretend like it doesn’t hurt.  Just because God is getting glory from it doesn’t mean that you are going to have to make some major adjustments as you learn to live with whatever loss you may now have. You are still going to have to say goodbye to that relationship.  But it does mean that you can have peace to help you through the grief.

I want you to see in verses 33 and 35 that Jesus Himself was filled with grief and that fascinates me.  He knows that He is about to call the name of Lazarus and Lazarus is about to walk out of that grave feeling better than he has in years and everything will be ok.  And yet Jesus still weeps.  He still is deeply moved and troubled.  That fascinates me.  It fascinates me even more to see that that phrase in the original has the connotation of anger with it.  It means that Jesus Himself was grieving and sad and may even have had some indignation in Him.

He hated to see His friends sad.  He hated that they had gone through all that they had gone through.  He hated that because He loved them; because He was friends with them.  He hated it because He knew that while He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead that one day Lazarus would die again and there would be more grief.  He hated the thought that it was sin that was the ultimate cause of death; that it was not the Father’s original plan and that it was the cause of so much grief and pain.

It is the same way as we grieve today.  God loves you so much that He grieves with you as you grieve.  As your friend, Jesus takes no joy in your loved one not being there for you but He knows that it is an opportunity for you to fall off the deep end and go crazy or to accept His peace with the knowledge that somehow, some way God will get the glory.

 

"Good Grief" - Part III - John 11:1-44

It’s no secret that I have lots of questions.  It’s not uncommon for me to start with a question and I usually have more as we go along.  Then Sunday nights I have lots of questions usually about the morning message.  I like to ask questions on Wednesday nights and when I see you through the week it’s usually more questions, right?  Well, I would like to ask some more questions this morning.  Most of these you may want to think about before answering.  I’ve said before that all of us are kind of weird and these are some of the questions that pop into my mind.  Questions like:

If our knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?  What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?  When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?  Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.  Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?  What do people in China call their good plates?

Like I say you may want to think about some of those before you answer and that’s fine.  It’s just some of the questions I have so be glad I don’t keep going.  Some people have other kinds of questions.  Some people are deep thinkers and while I ponder fancy ketchup, they are asking questions like “How can we have free will and yet God be sovereign?”  Or “What do we have to do to find a cure for cancer?”

Other people ask questions out of regret.  These questions often accompany grief or loss of some sort.  They ask questions such as, “What if I had done better, could I have kept my job?”  It may be a question that is not necessarily a desperate question like, “Now what did I do with my keys?” or “Which of you 3 dogs chewed up the remote?”  But feelings of desperate regret often lead to questions such as, “What if he had not died?”  or even, “If I had done something else, would she still be alive?”

Experts would tell us that questions like that need to be asked, answered as well as you can and then moved on from.  You don’t want to act like those questions aren’t there and yet you also don’t want to dwell on them for months on end.  They are normal and natural and even a good part of grief to go through but can be destructive if left to focus on endlessly.

Then some people have questions of regret for God that they assume will never be answered.  They ask things like, “What if God had just healed them?” or “Why did God do this to me?” or “Where was God when all this happened?”

As we conclude our sermon series on grief, I would like to help you try to answer some of those questions.  We will never be able to explain every bad thing that happens to us but the Bible does help us to know some of the reasons.  We have the same exact outline for today as we have the other 2 Sundays but I again hope to see something completely different in this message as we look at the book of John.

The book of John is a powerful resource for a lot of issues we have today.  John is a little bit different than the other Gospels.  It talks a lot about faith and trust and has some of the most memorable stories and verses in the Bible.  Today I would like to look at a fascinating story in which we will again see our response to grief and also God’s response to our grief but with the twist being that God shows His grief in the body of the man Jesus and I want to focus more on that this time as well.

Turn to John 11 and we will read verses 1-44.  It’s quite a few verses but you need to get the context of what is going on to better understand it.

 

Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. ² (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) ³ So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”⁴ When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” ⁵ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶ So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, ⁷ and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”⁸ “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”⁹ Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. ¹⁰ It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”¹¹ After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” ¹² His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” ¹³ Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. ¹⁴ So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, ¹⁵ and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” ¹⁶ Then Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”  On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸ Now Bethany was less than two miles^[b] from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. ²⁰ When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. ²¹ “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” ²³ Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” ²⁴ Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” ²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” ²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” ²⁸ After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” ²⁹ When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. ³⁰ Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. ³¹ When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. ³² When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. ³⁵ Jesus wept. ³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” ³⁸ Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹ “Take away the stone,” he said. “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” ⁴⁰ Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” ⁴¹ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴² I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” ⁴³ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

When Martin Luther’s daughter Magdalena was 14 years old she got sick and died.  As they laid her to rest Luther said, “Oh my dear Magdalena, I know you will rise and shine like the stars in the sky.  How strange to be so sorrowful and yet to know that all is at peace, that all is well.”

Grief has a way of bringing out all of your emotions, sometimes all at once.  In the course of just minutes you may feel sorrow and happiness, anxiety and relief or even anger and joy.  In looking at our response to our grief I want you to see first the response of Martha and Mary.  In verse 21 Martha tells Jesus, “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  With the written word we miss out on the inflection and we don’t know exactly how Martha said this but can’t you just hear the mixed emotions in her voice?

There is faith in her voice.  She knows Jesus could have saved him.  And yet at the same time there is a hint of blame in there as well.  There is some part of her that puts some of the blame for the death on Him.  And I guarantee you she didn’t want to feel that way.  She loved Jesus.  Jesus spent lots of time with Martha, Mary and Lazarus and had eaten lots of meals and spent lots of time with them and was a good friend.  I’m sure there had been lots of laughs and good times spent sitting around a table or walking down the road together.  They had a relationship much like we can have a relationship with Jesus even today.

But because she knows He could have healed Lazarus, there is a part of her, as she goes through the grief process that is put out with Jesus because He didn’t show up in time and heal him.

Then look at verse 32.  What does Mary say?  She uses the exact same words.  “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  In fact, the same sentiment is expressed by the Jews in verse 37.  “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

You know what that tells me?  That tells me they were talking.  Mary and Martha and the others were sitting around consoling themselves and they had all been talking about how, if Jesus had just been here He could have saved Lazarus.  Now some of these people referred to just as “Jews” may have been professional mourners but I’m sure some of them were friends of the family as well.  They were there to help.  They truly wanted to help Martha and Mary through their journey through grief and so they sat with them and talked and as they talked they all came to the conclusion that Jesus could have saved him.

There was probably even some anger mixed with the regret as they talked about it.  And I would like to assure this morning that to feel some anger toward God is natural.  It’s one thing for an elderly person to die who has been sick for a long time.  You can understand that is the natural order of things and everybody is going to die unless Jesus returns for us beforehand.  It is another thing to lose a loved one in their prime or to lose a child or what about a divorce or the loss of a job or the loss of some relationship?

When you go to God in fervent prayer as David did in last week’s message and you fast and pray and cry and beg and plead and yet the relationship still ends or the child dies it is natural to feel some bit of anger to God.  I didn’t say it was right, I said it was natural because He tells us to have faith and He tells us to bring it to Him and that is how Martha and Mary felt right now.  They knew He could…but He didn’t.

My aunt and uncle had 2 kids and named the youngest one Graham.  When Graham was 6 years old he died from Leukemia.  I called my aunt this week and asked her about it.  I was wondering if she had gone through any anger issues with God.  That was 36 years ago but I know she thinks about Graham often and so I was anxious to hear how she got through it and how she got over being mad at God.  Her response surprised me some.

She said that she had not had any anger issues because she knew that whatever reason God had in allowing Graham to die so soon that she knew it was for the glory of God.  She said that it was, of course, extremely painful; just knowing that God had a reason didn’t make it any less real; but she was able to get through it without anger because she knew God had a way of bringing glory to Himself through it.

That, my friends, does not come from a baby Christian.  The ability to accept that peace and comfort comes from someone who has more than just some head-knowledge of Jesus.  That comes from someone who has given their life and their thoughts and their wishes over to God.  This is someone who is not leaning on their own understanding but is in all her ways acknowledging Him and having her paths directed by Him.

She said she didn’t know what the reason was but she did know that through this situation my cousin Bill accepted Jesus into his life and she knows it has been used as an illustration in several sermons.  She didn’t know when I talked to her that it was going to be used in one more but I have an idea that while she said she didn’t know why God allowed it that she had just told me at least part of the reason right there.  It was for God’s glory.

And that leads me to the second part of the outline as we look at how God responds to our grief.  Look back at verse 4.  Jesus has just gotten the word that Lazarus is sick and He tells his disciples that this sickness will not end in death but it will be so that Jesus gets glory from it.  I propose to you this morning that every instance of grief is an opportunity for God to get glory.

 

 Just knowing that God has a reason doesn’t mean that you should pretend like it doesn’t hurt.  Just because God is getting glory from it doesn’t mean that you are going to have to make some major adjustments as you learn to live with whatever loss you may now have. You are still going to have to say goodbye to that relationship.  But it does mean that you can have peace to help you through the grief.

I want you to see in verses 33 and 35 that Jesus Himself was filled with grief and that fascinates me.  He knows that He is about to call the name of Lazarus and Lazarus is about to walk out of that grave feeling better than he has in years and everything will be ok.  And yet Jesus still weeps.  He still is deeply moved and troubled.  That fascinates me.  It fascinates me even more to see that that phrase in the original has the connotation of anger with it.  It means that Jesus Himself was grieving and sad and may even have had some indignation in Him.

He hated to see His friends sad.  He hated that they had gone through all that they had gone through.  He hated that because He loved them; because He was friends with them.  He hated it because He knew that while He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead that one day Lazarus would die again and there would be more grief.  He hated the thought that it was sin that was the ultimate cause of death; that it was not the Father’s original plan and that it was the cause of so much grief and pain.

It is the same way as we grieve today.  God loves you so much that He grieves with you as you grieve.  As your friend, Jesus takes no joy in your loved one not being there for you but He knows that it is an opportunity for you to fall off the deep end and go crazy or to accept His peace with the knowledge that somehow, some way God will get the glory.

 

“Good Grief” – Part 2 – II Samuel 12:15-23

How many of you remember when you were 16? What is the greatest thing in the world that can happen to an average 16 year old? Driver’s License! I remember when I was 16 and was taking Driver’s Ed through the school. My teacher was Mr. Robertson. Mr. Robertson was the vice-principal and he was a tough old bird and kind of scary. He had seen lots of kids come and go through that school and he was in control of every situation. You know the type, kind of like a drill sergeant.

So, picture the scene. I’m behind the wheel of a brand new Chrysler K-car, light blue with plastic seats and a Black and Decker aquarium pump for an engine but I don’t care. I’m about to drive! I’m all buckled in. Mirrors adjusted. Seat adjusted. And Mr. Robertson tells me, “Take the first port, then drive 3 blocks and take a starboard and get on the main road.”

I asked which way that was and he said I would know because if I got it wrong he would thump mewith his class ring that was on his left hand. And then he put his arm across the seat with his hand behind my head. Needless to say, I drove with my aching head hanging halfway out the window most of the way. But I learned.

I remember one time after I had been driving a while I got a little lax about a stop sign. I was just enjoying the drive, got my shades on, being cool (in the K-car) and all of the sudden the car comes to a screeching halt. I felt like I was going to go through the windshield! Do you remember how the driver’s ed cars had the extra brake pedal on the passenger side? Mr. Robertson slammed it down as hard as he could and I just thought I was in control. I just thought I had it all together in my fine ride but I was wrong. I had cruised through a stop sign and Mr. Robertson stopped everything with his right foot.

Some of you may know how that feels. You may not have had the luxury of a K-car in driver’s ed but you know the feeling all too well of cruising through life and then having everything come to a stop with the death of a loved one or through divorce or some other loss. One minute everything is fine and the next, maybe through no fault of your own or maybe solely because of you, now everything has changed.

And you can cry (and you should) or you can complain (which may be your right) or you can write your congressman or curl up in the fetal position or you can drink yourself into a stupor or do any number of other things to help get you through what you are going through. Some of those ways may be right and some may be wrong while others may be right for you but wrong for other people. Some may be good and some are destructive and at this point you may very well not care about what is good for the long term; you’re just trying to get through the next 5 minutes.

We are in the middle of a 3-sermon series entitled “Good Grief” in which we will study how sometimes God answers our prayers like we want as He did for Hannah last week. And sometimes He doesn’t answer our prayers as we would like but He can always sympathize with our grief. We are going through a 5-part video series on grief every Wednesday night through March and it is a powerful and well-made series that I would encourage everybody to see.

We are going through this issue of grief so thoroughly, not because we enjoy it – nobody enjoys ripping the scab off of a wound – but because every single one of us is going to go through some type of grief and if you are not going through it right now then there will be somebody that you can help with this in the very near future. And we all want to help but we are honestly not going to be of a whole lot of help to someone if all we can say at their time of heart-breaking, gut-wrenching grief is, “Uh…sorry.”

And that may be the best thing to say sometimes or it may even be too much sometimes but what a blessing it will be to you or your friends to know this lesson before either of you need it, instead of years later like it has been for some of us.

If you have your Bibles, turn to II Samuel. There should be a Bible in the seatback in front of you if you need one. I told you last week that the 2 books of Samuel are story books of the Bible and they contain some of the best-loved and best-known stories in the entire Bible. My very favorite story in the Bible comes from I Samuel 14 where Jonathan and his armor bearer go up the side of the cliff and karate chop 20 Philistines by themselves! It’s a great story. I don’t know that they used karate but there had to have been some skills going on up there.

Other stories don’t always have happy endings. One of the wonderful things about the Bible is how it doesn’t gloss over or sugarcoat what really happened. When somebody makes a mistake it tells about it, sometimes in great detail. And I say that is wonderful because, unlike most of you, I have made some really bad decisions in my life and it has been invaluable to me to see that not only am Inot the only one to make bad decisionsand to suffer the consequences of them but those decisions don’t mean that God is through with us. He can and will forgive us and help us through the consequences and I know that, not only in my own life, but through stories like the one we have before us this morning in II Samuel 12, verses 15-23.

You know the setting for this passage. It started with King David being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He saw Bathsheba on the roof top and one thing led to another, as they say, and pretty soon there is a baby involved. An innocent baby is conceived by the not-so-innocent and because of that sin, David is informed by Nathan the prophet that the baby will die.

And that is where we pick up the story. We pick up as the car comes to a skidding stop leaving black marks and tire smoke coming up from the road. David had everything he could ever want. He thought he was in control and everything was bopping along just fine but God slammed His sovereign foot on the brake pedal and now everything has changed for David. Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe you can relate to the intense grief that David is going through. And while everyone’s journey through grief is different and everybody reacts differently, we can learn from what David did and his response to his grief and we can learn about God’s response to his grief as well.

After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. ¹⁶ David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth^[a] on the ground. ¹⁷ The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. ¹⁸ On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.” ¹⁹ David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” ²⁰ Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. ²¹ His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!” ²²He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ ²³But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Even with all of their similarities, this is quite a different story from the one in which we looked last week. Last week Hannah prayed for a baby and God blessed her with a healthy baby boy. She prayed fervently, even fasting and crying and begging God for the child and God was merciful. This week David does the same thing and God does not answer his prayer as David had asked.

Is that right? Is that fair? Is that what we should expect from sovereign God; at best a 50/50 chance? Maybe that’s how you feel about your situation. Maybe you feel that what you have gone through isn’t right or fair and honestly, you may be right. It may not necessarily be fair but it is something you are going through. It is reality and one of the first things you have to do to get through this journey of grief is to come to grips with the fact that this really happened. It’s not a dream and fair or not you have some decisions to make.

Experts tell us not to make any major decisions within the first year after a significant loss and that is wise council. Grief has a way of making you not think straight and so don’t decide to sell the house or buy a yacht or get a full-back tattoo without getting lots of wise advice from others you trust that are not grieving. And then follow their advice.

But you do have decisions you will have to make and since grief makes everything compress, your long-term planning may go from “What will I do in the next 5 or 10 years?” to “What am I going to do in the next 5 or 10 minutes?” And so, through this story I want to look at how we respond to our grief and how God responds to our grief. And if that outline looks similar to last week’s it is because it is identical to last week’s and yet I hope to see something completely different in this story than what we saw last week.

Back in the early 90’s I worked in a feed store where we sold feed and supplies for all kinds of animals. One of the big sellers for a long time was Mane ‘n Tail Shampoo. It was made for horses but we rarely sold it for that. Word got out that it was great for human hair and we couldn’t keep it on the shelf. Women came in like crazy to get their hands on it.

I remember one time when my boss was in the store and then my boss’s boss came in and we were talking around the front register when a lady came in and asked for the Mane ‘n Tail so I showed her where it was and then I explained how it worked and how to use it. All the while I could tell that my bosses were watching me and so I gave her the whole spiel about how good it was. Then I rang up the sale at the cash register, bagged it up and gave her the receipt like a good employee and she left. As soon as she walked out the door the 2 big wigs started dying laughing and they asked me what I said to her because they couldn’t hear my great sales pitch.

What they found most incredible was that as they watched me talk to her, I actually took off my ball cap and pointed to my own head as I talked, obviously making a point and yet she still bought the shampoo and the conditioner. Well, I made some smart-alec comment about just being that good of a salesman and then I walked off.

Well, I want to channel that same salesman this morning as I make the case that David’s first response to his grief was the correct response. His first response, as we see in verse 16, was to pray. It says he pleaded with God. And the reason it may be hard to make that case is because somebody might look at that and say, “Yea, that worked for Hannah but fat load of good it did for David. That was a waste of time. He would have been better off doing his own thing instead of fasting and praying.” And I can understand that thinking. But it would be incorrect.

Let me start by asking,“What is prayer?” Is it explaining a situation to an unknowing, unseeing God who needs your input to understand what’s going on? Of course not. Then why should we pray in our grief? Why should our first response to grief be to fall to our knees in prayer? I’ll give you a couple of reasons. First, we should pray because God says to (and that should be enough). It should be enough to know that there are benefits of obedience. Matthew 26:41 says "Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you.” In Luke 18, Jesus tells his disciples that they should always pray and not give up. Ephesians 6:18 says “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” So, we should pray just because God tells us to.

But for all of you rebels out there; for those who don’t have the experience to know that obedience is enough, let me give you another reason and I go back to the scriptures for this as well. Proverbs 3:5-6 were written by Solomon, David’s son many years after the passage we are reading this morning. It is advice that I am sure was learned from his father who had dealt with this grief correctly. It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

“In all your waysacknowledge Him”. Even when you don’t know which “way” is up. Even when your way is confused and hurt and your way has been abused and taken advantage of and life isn’t fair, take that to God. Do you know what God doesn’t want to hear? God doesn’t want to hear, “Hey, this isn’t fair! Who do you think you are?” Do you know what God longs to hear from you? “God, this isn’t fair and I don’t understand why I have to go through this. Can you please explain to me or show me what you want me to understand through this horrible time, please?” There is a world of difference in those two questions and God wants you to come to Him with the right attitude and with right motives and He wants to hear from you so you can hear from Him, because He loves you.

And that is how we should respond to grief and it leads us right to how God responds to our grief. Last week we saw that God responded to Hannah’s grief by answering her prayer as she wanted but I made the point that it was because she prayed in her grief that she was blessed with the child. I don’t think it would have happened if she had not prayed. It had not happened in all the years leading up to that point so I believe God was waiting to hear her fervent prayer.

You have heard before that God will answer your prayer either yes, no or wait and this week we see God’s answer to David was a definite no. God did not allow the child to live. Again, I cannot comprehend how that must have felt and we have learned from our “Journey Through Grief” video series that even if someone has had a similar loss, every loss is different and every person grieves differently and one is not necessarily better than another.

But what did David do when he heard the bad news? What would you have done? See, now is the perfect opportunity for David to freak out and do something stupid. Can you imagine what he was going through? Not only did he just lose his infant son but he knows that it was directly related to his sin. That kind of guilt has done in lots of people. He could have gone off and drank himself to death or run off and done what the others thought he might do and take his own life somehow.

But what does he do? Look at verse 20. He got cleaned up and he went and worshiped and then he got something to eat and then in verse 24 (we didn’t read that verse) it says he comforted Bathsheba. I’m sure Bathsheba was grieving intensely as well and he comforted her. I propose to you this morning that what David did was not normal. It was not a natural thing, in fact, it was a supernatural thing that allowed him to start his journey through that grief and even bring comfort to Bathsheba.

That was God’s response to David’s grief. Because David prayed; because he prayed fervently and continued to pray, God answered his prayer. It was not answered in the way David had asked but it was answered by the merciful and forgiving God who does not want His children to drown in their grief. It was answered in the way that was right and just and best for David and for the Kingdom of God and so sovereign God heard David’s cries. And being a God who is familiar with grief He allowed David to have wisdom and peace even in David’s worst day of grief. And not just some peace, God gave David enough peace so that he could go to Bathsheba and give her peace as well. That is peace that passes all understanding.

It doesn’t mean that David was through with his grief. In fact, this was just the beginning and I am sure David thought about that day for years and years. And just because he got up and ate something and worshiped doesn’t mean that he didn’t mean what he prayed or that he didn’t love the child as much as somebody else loves their child. It means God gave him grace and mercy to start his journey through grief and allowed David to grieve properly and not destructively.

David’s response to his grief was to go to his Creator and Sustainer and his Friend in despairing conversation, being honest and respectful but being able to ask any question. God’s response to his grief was to give David what God knew he really needed and to give it abundantly because that is how God works. Ephesians 3:20 says that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

Jesus said in John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." That was His reason for coming! Don’t miss out on that, especially in your time of grief. He wants you to talk to Him so that He can talk to you and give you an abundant life even in the darkest times of your life. Will you accept that from Him today?

“Good Grief”, Part 1 – I Samuel 1:1-20

I live about a block away from Eastside Cemetery in Bridgeport and I find it a very peaceful place to walk and pray sometimes. Some people might find it creepy but I enjoy walking through there and I like to look at the headstones, some of which date back to the early 1800’s. What strikes me here lately is that for every one of those headstones there is a person or group of people that grieved that passing. Every time there is a loss, there is a response to that loss and that response is called grief. And every one of those stones represents somebody’s grief.

Quite a few of those headstones make note of the military service by the one buried there including some who served in the Civil War, which just fascinates me. I saw one the other day that said this man was born in 1922 and died in 1944 as a soldier in the army. I’m sure he died while serving his country in combat at the age of 22. I think about his family grieving when they got the news from the State Department; how awful that must have been. But I appreciate that young man’s service so much and wish I could tell him so.

But while that man knew of the dangers of military service and there is pride mixed with the grief of his family, there are several other headstones that really break my heart. There are several in which the date of birth is the same as the date of death. Obviously this was a stillborn child or one who didn’t live more than a day. Some of the really old ones don’t even have a first name. Evidently, back then the family didn’t pick out a name until after the child was born and they didn’t even get the chance to do that.

I stand looking at that rock with one date and I can’t help but ask God “Why?” I can come closer to understanding a grown man dying in combat but I don’t understand this. And as a man I know I will never comprehend the special bond between a woman and her baby and so I hate to think about how that mother must have grieved. We have talked before about why bad things happen to us and I have some answers but we will never completely understand why things like this happen until we get to Heaven.

Our focus for the next 3 Sundays will not necessarily be why these things happen but instead we will look at our response to our grief and God’s response to our grief. We will see that sometimes God answers our prayer as we would like and then sometimes He doesn’t but in the end He is able to sympathize with our grief.

Our first example will be from the book of I Samuel where we see the story of Hannah. First and Second Samuel are story books of the Bible. They tell some of the history of the nation of Israel but in doing so we learn a lot about not just the people but of the character of God Himself. In these stories we see how we are supposed to act and how we are not supposed to act and how God treats people in common and uncommon situations.

So, turn to I Samuel chapter 1 and we will read verses 1-20. And I apologize beforehand for the massacre of some of these names.

There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite^[a] from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. ² He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. ³Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh , where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. ⁴ Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. ⁵But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.⁶ Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. ⁷ This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. ⁸ Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” ⁹ Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh , Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. ¹⁰ In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. ¹¹ And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” ¹² As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. ¹³ Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk¹⁴ and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” ¹⁵ “Not so, my lord,”Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. ¹⁶ Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” ¹⁷ Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” ¹⁸ She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. ¹⁹ Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. ²⁰ So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,^[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”

So, we basically have 4 main characters here: Elkanah the husband and his 2 wives, Hannah and Peninnah (I see a problem here already) and the priest Eli. It’s interesting that the subject of polygamy is not brought up here at all but I can’t help but think that part of the reason God wanted this story told was to illustrate just one of the problems with that arrangement; you know, just one of the problems that women cause. J

No, the problem we have here is that Hannah can’t have children and wants to and Peninnah can and is rubbing it in to Hannah every chance she gets. And while I can’t comprehend the bond between a mother and her child, I sure can’t understand what Hannah is going through because there is also a culture issue at play here. In biblical times it was a woman’s whole reason for being to bring babies into the world. They didn’t have all the same opportunities that women do today. Their job was to provide children for the husband and preferably male children so that the family name and business could be carried on.

And since Hannah couldn’t bear children, I’m sure she felt like a failure as a person and as a wife. It could be that the reason Elkanah got Peninnah as a wife was because Hannah couldn’t have kids. Think about how that must have made Hannah feel. Because she couldn’t do the job, her husband brought in a pinch-hitter who was now batting a thousand and also going out of her way to make Hannah feel bad about it.

3 times a year every male was required to go to the temple and make sacrifices and so Elkanah would take the whole family and like everybody else, they would make it into almost a vacation. Elkanah would give part of the meat to be sacrificed to each member of the family and he would give Hannah a double portion. That should have made her feel special but Peninnah and her kids got a lot more in total and then Hannah would feel even worse.

Now all of this may even sound a little silly to us today because, like I say, there is a cultural issue here that we can’t understand completely. But this gets us into what I want us to see this morning. I want us to see:

1) Our response to our grief

2) God’s response to our grief.

In looking at our response to our grief, I want you to know that how you grieve may seem silly to others but that’s ok. The thing about grief is that no 2 people grieve in the same way and just because you grieve one way and somebody else grieves another does not make one right and the other wrong. Even if one is more common than the other it doesn’t necessarily make your grief process wrong or weird. It is up to us as those who are not grieving to be sensitive to your grief and not do anything that might make it worse.

Poor Hannah was getting it from all angles. First, Peninnah was making fun of her situation and there is no justification for that. But Elkanah wasn’t much more help even though I think he was trying. I’ve said for a long time that somebody could make a lot of money by starting a business where you just listen to people. I even came up with a name: “Ears to You”.

Now, as an employee of “Ears to You”, you would be trained to say only a very few sentences. You would be trained to say, “Really?” and “Why is that?” and “Tell me more”. Other than that you would pretty much keep your mouth shut. The thing is I don’t think there would be many male employees of “Ears to You”because guys usually want to fix things.

That’s what Elkanah was trying to do. He explained the situation and then couldn’t understand why Hannah was still grieving. Well, Hannah didn’t need or want to be “fixed”. Her grief was natural and even good even if nobody else understood it. If anything, Hannah needed to be told “You mean more to me than 10 sons” instead of “Don’t I mean more to you than 10 sons?” in verse 8.

Another example of how Elkanah wanted to ‘fix” her was asking her why she was crying and why she wouldn’t eat. We have learned in the video series that we are going through on Wednesday nights on “The Journey Through Grief” that people going through grief will often not want to eat or sleep. Or they may only want to eat or sleep. Neither one is particularly healthy, physically, but neither is uncommon or wrong as far as emotions go.

Many people will experience changes in sleep or appetite as well as loss of short-term memory, an increase in colds or flu, a loss of what is perceived as logical thought and a loss of interest in things that used to interest you. Some people want to talk all the time about it and some people clam up and become workaholics. If you have experienced any type of grief, you may have even been angry with God or angry with yourself. Again, these are normal feelings and you are not the first to experience them. You don’t have to be afraid of these feelings but you don’t have to live with them forever either.

There is a balance in getting all of these feelings out and not keeping them bottled up or denying that they exist and then the other extreme is continuing to drag yourself through all that pain longer than you have to. Experts tell us that the average recovery time for significant loss is one to two years, and it is possible to grieve actively for up to five years without becoming pathological.

I’m sure Hannah was feeling terribly lonely at this point in her life. Even in a big family she must have felt all alone. Even the priest misunderstood her at first and told her to get rid of the booze. Oh, that had to help. That’s what she needed. But in spite of this I believe Hannah did at least 2 things right. #1-She was honest. She told Eli that she was deeply troubled. She didn’t try to gloss it over. She came right out and told someone that she was hurting instead of trying to “John Wayne” through the pain.

#2 – She prayed. And she didn’t just pray a little sentence prayer. Verse 12 says she kept on praying to the Lord. She prayed fervently. It says she prayed in bitterness of soul. She prayed and she cried and she prayed some more. And the truth is prayer is one of basically 2 choices we can make when we are grieving. We can go to God in prayer to get help supernaturally from the creator of the universe or we can try to solve it ourselves. And just for comparison, how has that worked out for you in the past?

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is James 5:16 that says, “The fervent prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Let’s look now at God’s response to her grief. Verse 20 says, “So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.” Is that God’s response every time we pray fervently? No, of course not and we will see that more in depth next week but I believe it would not have happened if she had not prayed.

See, God wants you to pray. He wants to hear from you. He wants to hear you say you are hurting. He wants to hear you say you are angry at Him. He can handle that. The other option would be to lie to Him and He doesn’t want that. So, take it to God in prayer and continue to take it to Him, for years if necessary. Let me tell you how God feels about your grief. Better yet, I want y’all to tell us. I have passed out some slips of paper with a verse on each one. There is no order. Just read it out loud so we can all hear.

Isaiah 41:10'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Isaiah 43:2"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.

Revelation 21:4and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Romans 8:18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Matthew 11:28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Psalm18:2The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 23:4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 73:26My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

Does anybody else have one they would like to share? This list is not exhaustive. However you choose to grieve, however long it takes, however many people it takes to help you through the process, please know that the process is necessary, normal and even good for you. And nobody wants to help you any more than your church family. But God does the healing and He says in Philippians 4:7 that, “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Do you know Him today? That promise in Philippians is for His children. And He wants you as His child. Whether you are grieving today or you might be grieving tomorrow, He promises peace to His children.