Sunday, June 1, 2014

“Controlled Speech” – James 3:1-12


We talk sometimes about how we want to be remembered when we leave this world.  We want the guy who preaches our funeral to be able to say some good stuff, right?  But have you ever thought of how you want to be remembered when you leave the room?  We have all been somewhere where everybody seems to be verbally bashing everybody that’s not there.  And it doesn’t matter how bad you have to go to the bathroom, you are not getting up because you don’t want them talking about you.  Have you been in that situation?

Titus 2:8 tells us to live beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.  And they should be ashamed.  But you know they are still going to talk about you.  And for some people it doesn’t matter how wonderful you are, they are going to find something negative to say about you.  And you can’t help what other people say about you.  But you can keep from giving them any more ammunition.

I say all of this because we are going to see what Pastor James in the New Testament has to say regarding our speech.  And the tendency all of us have when we hear sermons like this is to be thinking all the way through about how other people need to be hearing this.  Satan wants you to be thinking about how much Aunt Bessie needs to hear about holding her tongue.  And, oh, if that neighbor of mine could just hear some of this…  And, wow, that preacher really needs a mirror up there so he can preach to himself.

And the thing is, I’m quite sure all of that is very true.  But this morning I want you to just internalize it.  Think about how you need to change and don’t be stocking up ammunition to use on poor old Aunt Bessie…or poor old Pastor Todd!  Winston Churchill exemplified integrity and respect in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. "That's Winston Churchill." "They say he is getting senile." "They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men." When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, "Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!"  Barbara Hatcher, Vital Speeches, March 1, 1987.

Nobody likes somebody to talk bad about them.  And that is one of the quickest ways that somebody can tell a Christian from a non-Christian is their speech (or lack of).  Because we all know that Christians never gossip.  Christians never bad-mouth anybody.  They never lie or brag or just flat talk too much, right?  Well, that’s not entirely true.  In fact, it never has been true because James talks in depth about our speech and you remember he is writing to his fellow believers in Jesus.

So, let’s go ahead and turn to the book of James, chapter 3, and let’s just see what the good pastor has to say about controlling our speech.  James 3:1-12 says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

Casey Stengel was a longtime major league baseball manager whose unique way with the English language became known as "Stengelese."  He held a position on the board of directors for a California bank. According to a story that originally appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Casey described his duties this way: "There ain't nuthin' to it. You go into the fancy meeting room and you just sit there and never open your yap. As long as you don't say nuthin' they don't know whether you're smart or dumb."

President Calvin Coolidge was of the same mind, if maybe a little smarter.  He was known as “Silent” Cal and I heard the story about how he was at a dinner one night sitting next to a woman he didn’t know.  The woman was very excited to see him and was evidently aware of his reputation for not saying much.  She turned to the president and said, “Mr. President, I have to admit I bet my friends that I could get more than 2 words out of you.”  President Coolidge turned to her and just said, “You lose.”

And we can probably all appreciate someone who knows how to keep their mouth shut.  And we should all try to do that more often.  But in reality, keeping your mouth closed and never saying anything is not really controlling your tongue.  The secret is to know when to keep your mouth closed and then when it is time to open it, to know what the right thing is to say.  That is controlling your tongue.

James tells us here what a powerful part of the body the tongue is and in here I want us to see 3 things.  The tongue has the power to direct.  It has the power to destroy.  And it has the power to delight.  Let’s look at verse 1 to see how our tongues can direct.  James says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.”  This is not meant to be career counseling from James.  He is warning us to think through our decision to be teachers.

For that first church and especially for those coming out of the Jewish culture, teachers or rabbis were highly respected.  They were very important people and invited to all the best parties and were given the best seats at all the major happenings in town.  And I’m sure James was finding out in that church in Jerusalem that everybody thought they ought to be teachers.  Well, I’m sure you can ask any of the teachers around here and they would tell you that times have changed.  You don’t exactly get followed around by the paparazzi for being a teacher anymore.

But you will still be judged for it and that is the point James is making here.  When Jesus talked about teachers and especially when He talked TO the teachers, what did He say?  He almost always started out by saying, “Woe to you!”  Woe means grief.  “It is going to be grief for you teachers.”  And why would it be grief?  I love how Jesus puts it in Matthew 23:3.  He says, “So you must be careful to do everything they (the teachers) tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.” 

For teachers, it can be easy to say one thing and to do another.  In fact, it’s easy for all of us, which is exactly the point James makes in verse 2.  We all stumble in many ways.  Teachers and non-teachers stumble.  It’s easy for all of us to be hypocrites but teachers will be judged more harshly.  You are telling me how to have my life changed when your life has obviously not been changed?  That’s like getting diet advice from a fat guy.

But James goes on to say that if you are going to use your tongue, your words, your teaching ability to direct others then you better be able to direct your tongue.  You have the power to direct others with your tongue.  And you have the power to direct your tongue and you better use that power.  James uses the example of a horse and a ship that are directed by such small things.  And we read that and we focus on the bit for the horse and the rudder for the ship.  But those are just things like the tongue is just a thing.

It is the one who controls those things that controls the direction.  I used to live and work on a small horse ranch in west Ft. Worth when I was about 20 or 21.  The owner had a couple of old horses that he liked for me to ride every now and then just to give them some exercise.  Princess had been a champion show horse and rodeo queen back in her day but now she was pretty happy hanging out at the barn eating hay all day.

And so when I showed up to put the saddle and bridle on, she took it as a personal offense.  She started out by trying to buck me off but she was too old and I was too young for that so then she would try to scrape me off of her on the pipe fence.  If that didn’t work she would go under the low branch of a tree to try to knock me off.  And it sometimes worked because I was not able to control her even with a bit and saddle.

I couldn’t overcome the nature of that horse.  And just like that horse, we have an old nature that has to be overcome.  It wants to control us and make us sin.  There are also circumstances around us that make us want to say things that we ought not to say.  Sin on the inside and pressures on the outside are seeking to get control of the tongue.  (Wiersbe, p. 358)  But we have to control it or it will control us.

Now, at this point, you are probably saying the 3 most popular words that come into a person’s mind when they read through the book of James.  From the first “consider it pure joy…” to this part about controlling your tongue you are probably saying to yourself, “But that’s hard!”  Let’s just go ahead and all say that out loud and let’s say it like a little kid would.  “But that’s hard!”

And you are right.  It is hard to do.  In fact, I would say it is impossible for you to do.  I was talking to a lady the other day after the biker church who was saying those exact words.  She said, talking about something else, “But that’s hard!  I can’t do that.”  And I said, “You’re right, you can’t.  But…”  And I got about that far and she beat me to it.  She said, “But there is that verse in Ephesians or Philippians that says we can do anything through Christ.”  And she was right.  That is the secret.

Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.  Just add this to the list of things you can’t do in your own strength.  You cannot tame your tongue in your own strength.  But if you are going to direct others you better, through Christ, tame it or then we see what happens in verses 5-6.  It says, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body… and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Our words can start fires.  Our words have the power to destroy.  Proverbs 26:20-21 says, “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. 21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.”  We all know somebody that just doesn’t seem happy unless there is some drama in their life.  I hope it’s not you.  But if it is, let me just tell you, leave that stuff at the house.  Don’t bring that mess to church with you.

Oh, I’m not that bad, pastor.  Sure, I like to stir things up a bit every now and then; maybe repeat a little gossip or tell things that make me look just a little bit better at somebody else’s expense but everybody does it.  It’s not really hurting anything, is it?”

How many times have you heard about a great forest fire that burned millions of acres only to find out it was started by a cigarette butt?  You know, most of the time that cigarette butt that is thrown down just goes out on its own.  Or maybe somebody comes by and sees that trash still burning and steps on it and throws it away.  It’s the same way at church.  I see people throw their cigarette butts on the ground and most of the time nothing happens.  But it is trash and we don’t need that at our church.  Please don’t do that.

And just like that cigarette on the ground, we don’t need your harsh words, your hypocrisy, your foul language, your gossip or your bragging.  Don’t throw that trash around up here or anywhere else for that matter.  Because while most of the time it is extinguished by a loving brother, every now and then that trash catches fire.  How many churches have burned to the ground, consuming the whole community with them because of one careless word said without thinking?  Our speech has the power to destroy.  You must control it and with the power of Christ Who lives in you, you can.

And while our speech, our words, our tongue has the power to direct and to destroy.  It also has the power to delight.  Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”  Paul talked several times about being refreshed by or wanting to refresh the saints in Romans and Corinthians.  Wouldn’t you like to be described like that when you walk out of the room?

Don’t you want people to describe you as refreshing instead of comparing you to a cigarette butt?  Your tongue has the power to make you be described as either one and it is your choice.  And they both come with a price.  The price you pay for being a destroying cigarette is knowing that you have done great harm to the Kingdom of God.  And James says you will be judged for that.  Flip over a page and read what James says in chapter 1, verse 26.  Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”  That’s a high price to pay.

And there is a price to pay for controlling your tongue as well.  People who are described as refreshing or delightful have to pay the price of giving up their right and ability to gossip or put someone down or to try to make themselves look better in somebody else’s eyes.  The thing is, the person you are trying to impress as well as the person you are putting down…probably think the world of you.

Do you know how I hear people described here at Christ Fellowship?  “I just love him!”  “She’s so sweet.”  Carol, I heard just last week, “That Carol.  She’s one of my favorite people.”  Why would you try to impress somebody that already thinks you hung the moon?  Why would you hurt someone by gossiping about them if you knew they loved you like family?

I’ll tell you the truth.  I love it when Jeanna Driver comes to church.  I know she often has to work but when she comes, I just love it.  You know why?  Because she calls me “Sweet Love”.  I know, I know.  She calls everybody “Sweet Love” but when she says it to me, I feel special.  How can I ever find anything bad to say about somebody who makes me feel so special?  I would be put to shame, as Titus said.

See, controlling your tongue is not just keeping your mouth closed.  It is saying just the right thing at just the right time through the power of Jesus.  Solomon said in Proverbs 25, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.”  Let me give you a few phrases that need to increase in our vocabularies.  Let me give you a few apples of gold set in silver.

We need to say “please” and “thank you” more often.  It makes people feel more like friends and less like employees when you do.  Or how about “I’m sorry”?  You can break down a barrier and build a bridge with those simple words if they are truly meant.  We should say “I love you” more often.  I’m working on that.  It can be hard for us tough guys sometime but we need to get over it. 

And lastly, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know.  Why is that so hard for us?  If you are a banker, lawyer or politician, let me be the first to tell you that saying “I don’t know” every now and then will get you a whole lot of respect from me.  But then again, if a banker, lawyer or politician said anything I probably wouldn’t believe them.

Oh, there I go.  See, I did it.  I bad-mouthed people without thinking about it.  That’s wrong.  What was it James said in verse 10?  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Well, through the power of Christ who lives in me, I can do all things, including not saying bad things about bankers, lawyers and politicians.

But what if you don’t have Christ living in you?  The consequences are even worse than not being able to control your tongue.  The consequences of not giving your life to Jesus include an eternity in Hell and no joy or peace in this life.  We don’t want people to say bad things about us when we leave the room.  What will be said about you when you leave this world?  Make sure today that it is, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

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