How many dog-lovers do we have here this morning? Good. Good. Now, how many would admit that they don’t like dogs at all? Anybody? Because we can have you escorted off the property if that’s the case. I’m not putting up with that. J I have two dogs – Bo and Sara – and I love my dogs. My dogs have been there for me through thick and thin. They have protected me and loved me and given me attention when I needed it and left me alone when I needed that.
They are very smart. I saw my little dog trick the big dog into getting off the couch by barking at a non-existent bad guy in the back yard. They are very protective. Bo saw a picture of a man on this screen here one time and got between me and him and barked and growled until he went away. They like to play. They like to sleep. They like to go for walks. They like to eat. They like to go places - all just like me. They are perfect for me.
Well, except for a couple little things. Ok, they’re not perfect. Don’t tell Sara I said that. I mean, as far as dogs they are perfect, I guess, but did you know that in all the eight years that we have been together, not one time have they ever cooked a meal for me. I fix them something every day. That’s just not fair, is it?
Not one time have they ever even offered to mow the lawn. I even explained how to do it. I showed them where the gas can is. I offered to weedeat if they would just mow but they just look at me like I’m crazy. Now don’t get me started about cleaning the house! Not only do they not help but they make it worse so quickly. I saw a sign the other day that said cleaning with dogs in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Isn’t that the truth?
I’ve always said I recommend dogs over kids any day but at least you can get a kid to take the trash out every now and then. Not Bo or Sara. But other than that they are perfect for what I need. Well, almost perfect. They are great listeners and they never complain but sometimes I have an idea that Sara would like to say something about how I’m dressed but she never does and I wind up looking like this or even worse.
Sometimes I would like to have somebody to tell me that I look like a goober or that not everything goes with brown boots. But she stays quiet. So, maybe they aren’t the absolute perfect companions but I still wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Do you have a perfect companion? No? Some of you are ready to trade for a dog right now, aren’t you? Some of you are going through some difficult times in your marriage or maybe you have had your share in the past. How is it possible to have a good marriage? What’s the secret?
We are starting today a four week series on marriage and I know what you are thinking right now. “Marriage advice? From him? Maybe we can get some dieting tips and some shampoo recommendations as well.” Right? Well, don’t worry. The title of this sermon series is, “What the Bible Says About Marriage”. It is most definitely not, “What Todd Says About Marriage.” So, don’t worry. There are lots of good and bad examples all through the Bible that will help us to know how to make the best of what God has joined together and how not to let them come apart.
As you know, a building is only as good as its foundation so we need to start there. Not just what makes a good foundation for your marriage but I want to look first at what the foundation is for the institution of marriage itself. To do this, let’s start at the very beginning. Turn all the way left in your Bibles to the very first book – the book of Genesis - and turn to chapter two.
If you are a seamstress or if you like to sew and make things at all, you know that it is important to have a good pattern to go by. If you lose that pattern and go by something else for your new dress, you will probably be alright once or twice but the further you get away from that original pattern the more the end result will suffer. Know what I mean? Too many marriages today just get eyeballed when it comes to knowing what makes them really work. People who don’t know the original foundation or pattern for marriage often wind up making a mess of it.
So, let’s read Genesis 2:18-24 and let’s see what the original pattern was for marriage and I hope you will first see that marriage… was God’s idea. Genesis 2:18-24.
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Now, I don’t know if it’s true but I heard that Adam was created before Eve to give him a chance to say something. That may or may not be true but in this passage we see that Adam is naming all the animals. Why do you think he is naming the animals? Have you ever thought about it? Well, obviously, they needed to be named but it doesn’t say that Adam named the trees or the flowers or the mountains; just the animals.
For the Hebrews to whom this was originally written, they would understand that not only did things need to be named but that naming something gives a sense of ownership or dominion over something. Just like when an astronomer finds a new planet, he gets to name it, so it is with the naming of these animals. Adam doesn’t own them but he is doing as God told him to do and he is having dominion over them.
But that is not the main reason for this parade of critters that went by in front of Adam. Notice the context. God says in verse 18 that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone so God sent the animals to be named. Obviously, it was God’s idea that Adam see all the different animals with the expectation that Adam would see that all the animals were different than he was and that they all had mates that were similar to them.
It’s just my imagination but I think at the end of the animal parade and naming, Adam sat there for a little while longer thinking about how Mr. Gorilla has Mrs. Gorilla and Mr. Zebra had Mrs. Zebra but he didn’t have what they had. He didn’t have a helper or friend or an equal. So, when that thought had gone through Adam’s mind God put Adam to sleep and in my Bible it says that God took one of Adam’s ribs. A better rendering of that would be that God took a part of his side but it’s not a big deal to know exactly what was taken. It is more important to think about why it was taken.
Why do you think God made woman from Adam’s rib? He made man from dust and spoke the universe into existence but he took the extra step of giving Adam an Ambien to help him sleep (J) and then doing surgery on him to create the woman. Commentator Adam Clark explains it this way, “God could have formed the woman out of the dust of the earth, as he had formed the man; but had he done so, she must have appeared in his eyes as a distinct being, to whom he had no natural relation. But as God formed her out of a part of the man himself, he saw she was of the same nature, the same identical flesh and blood, and of the same constitution in all respects, and consequently having equal powers, faculties, and rights. This at once ensured his affection, and excited his esteem.”
I bet his esteem was excited! I love to look at animals. A beautiful deer or a majestic lion or a colorful peacock are incredible to view but I have an idea that when Adam woke up and saw Eve his eyes sparkled. I bet he hand-brushed his hair real quick, sucked in his gut a little bit and made a bee-line in her direction. The scripture says that Adam said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. I have to wonder, though, if that was the very first words out of his mouth.
I have to think it was more like, “Hey there! Come to this garden often?” Or something like that and then Eve rolled her eyes. But before we go off spending time on the world’s first pickup lines, I want us to see a couple of things that will help us know more about the foundation of marriage and this is important to know because without the right foundation a marriage will not be pleasing to God or even recognized by God as marriage at all.
The first thing we need to see from this passage regarding the foundation of marriage is that it is God’s idea. In verse 18 God said it was not good that Adam be alone and so God set the ball rolling as was His plan all along. It was God’s idea that Adam met Eve. It was God’s idea to create Adam to want and need to not be alone. It was God’s idea that Eve would come to be part of Adam in what we call marriage.
That brings up the question then of “What is marriage?” The dictionary says it is a broad term to describe any of the diverse forms of interpersonal union. I know less about marriage after reading that than I did before. The Bible doesn’t define marriage like that. It illustrates it. The way the Bible illustrates marriage is God bringing two unique and different but similar people together to be help-mates.
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” (George Burns) “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” (Rita Rudner) Almost no subject you can think of gets made fun of as much as marriage does and yet almost everybody does it at least once (that “at least once” is a sermon for another day) and way too many of them just don’t work. Why is that?
Well, the Bible is showing us what is required for a God-blessed marriage. Do you want to have a God-blessed marriage? Of course you do. Does it require a fancy wedding in a church? Adam and Eve didn’t have a wedding. In Genesis 24 Isaac and Rebekah were considered married when they went into the tent. Weddings are cultural and differ even today all over the world. What God blesses is when he brings two people together who obey the law of the land and are married legally and in the eyes of God Himself.
So – BOOM! – that brings up lots of questions, right? What about two people of the same sex? If the Supreme Court rules that same-sex marriage is legal in this country – which, unfortunately, I expect them to do maybe even this summer, then does that make a God-blessed marriage? Well, what does the Bible teach about homosexuality? There are many passages but just a quick read of Romans 1, for example, would make it clear that God says that is a sin.
God is not going to bless a “marriage” that is between two people who practice homosexuality or between an adult and a child or between a person and an animal. Those are not what God used to illustrate marriage in Genesis 2. Look at it like this. I told you about my dogs. I love my dogs and they love me and I believe they are God’s gift to me, without a doubt. But are they perfect help-mates for me? Do they conform to the pattern of God’s design for marriage? No.
I don’t doubt for a second that two men or two women could love each other. I also believe that God makes people just like they are and that sometimes a person may feel attracted to another person of the same sex. Does that mean God will bless a union like that? No. The Bible is clear about that whether you want to accept it or not. You don’t have to act on your desires.
“But that’s not fair!” No, it’s not but there are many situations even in a God-blessed marriage that won’t be fair. You may have heard that marriage is a 50-50 contract. That’s not true. For a marriage to work both partners have to give 100%. That’s not fair but it’s true. I heard somebody say the other day that marriage is a ministry. When you say, “I do” you are saying “I am now the minister to you. I am your help-mate. I am your partner, not your slave or master or your benefactor. I am your minister.”
Is that what you signed up for? If not, then it’s not too late to start your ministry to your spouse. I talked to a couple just last night who had been married for 40 years. I asked them the secret to a long marriage. The wife immediately said, “Endurance!” to which the husband readily agreed.
I thought 40 years of “endurance” doesn’t sound like a life I want for my dogs, much less myself. Years ago when I was in my early twenties, the girl I was dating asked me to her family reunion. Everybody was there; uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandma and grandpa. It was a good time with lots of food and everybody was laughing and in a good mood as we sat around after dinner. The conversation slowed for just a second after we had all been laughing about something and one of the kids said with a smile, “Grandpa, if you had to do it all over again, would you?”
With no smile at all, Grandpa said, “No.” The room got kind of quiet and uncomfortable so the girl tried again. “You know, Grandpa, I mean you have all your family and all those memories. You have all of us. Wouldn’t you do it all again if you had to?”
Grandpa just sat there with a serious look and said, “No. It was just too hard.”
If I were God, I would have made people differently. I would have made them more independent, not needing other people as much as they do but God, in His infinite and sovereign wisdom made people to be very social and for men and women to need each other as help-mates and if you want your marriage to work and to last and to do more than just be a test of endurance; a marriage that is worth it then you have to start off with the right pattern.
Even marriages with two opposite sex, loving Christians are going to be difficult and labor-intensive because it is two people living together and I know that sounds crazy but it is how God planned it to be. It is His idea and He has a pattern for what it should look like. Some smart alec said that marriage is God’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers but that is not the pattern. That is not the intent.
God wants to bless your marriage but it has to follow His pattern and while I know lots of “un-Christian” marriages make it to the end, if you want to truly be blessed in your marriage and in your life, God has to be the center of it. It is a rare marriage that won’t make it with two people who have Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
For the sake of your marriage; for the sake of your eternity repent of your sins and ask God to be the center of your life not just your Sunday morning obligation. His Word says that whosoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Do it right now.
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