“Good Grief” – Part 2 – II Samuel 12:15-23

How many of you remember when you were 16? What is the greatest thing in the world that can happen to an average 16 year old? Driver’s License! I remember when I was 16 and was taking Driver’s Ed through the school. My teacher was Mr. Robertson. Mr. Robertson was the vice-principal and he was a tough old bird and kind of scary. He had seen lots of kids come and go through that school and he was in control of every situation. You know the type, kind of like a drill sergeant.

So, picture the scene. I’m behind the wheel of a brand new Chrysler K-car, light blue with plastic seats and a Black and Decker aquarium pump for an engine but I don’t care. I’m about to drive! I’m all buckled in. Mirrors adjusted. Seat adjusted. And Mr. Robertson tells me, “Take the first port, then drive 3 blocks and take a starboard and get on the main road.”

I asked which way that was and he said I would know because if I got it wrong he would thump mewith his class ring that was on his left hand. And then he put his arm across the seat with his hand behind my head. Needless to say, I drove with my aching head hanging halfway out the window most of the way. But I learned.

I remember one time after I had been driving a while I got a little lax about a stop sign. I was just enjoying the drive, got my shades on, being cool (in the K-car) and all of the sudden the car comes to a screeching halt. I felt like I was going to go through the windshield! Do you remember how the driver’s ed cars had the extra brake pedal on the passenger side? Mr. Robertson slammed it down as hard as he could and I just thought I was in control. I just thought I had it all together in my fine ride but I was wrong. I had cruised through a stop sign and Mr. Robertson stopped everything with his right foot.

Some of you may know how that feels. You may not have had the luxury of a K-car in driver’s ed but you know the feeling all too well of cruising through life and then having everything come to a stop with the death of a loved one or through divorce or some other loss. One minute everything is fine and the next, maybe through no fault of your own or maybe solely because of you, now everything has changed.

And you can cry (and you should) or you can complain (which may be your right) or you can write your congressman or curl up in the fetal position or you can drink yourself into a stupor or do any number of other things to help get you through what you are going through. Some of those ways may be right and some may be wrong while others may be right for you but wrong for other people. Some may be good and some are destructive and at this point you may very well not care about what is good for the long term; you’re just trying to get through the next 5 minutes.

We are in the middle of a 3-sermon series entitled “Good Grief” in which we will study how sometimes God answers our prayers like we want as He did for Hannah last week. And sometimes He doesn’t answer our prayers as we would like but He can always sympathize with our grief. We are going through a 5-part video series on grief every Wednesday night through March and it is a powerful and well-made series that I would encourage everybody to see.

We are going through this issue of grief so thoroughly, not because we enjoy it – nobody enjoys ripping the scab off of a wound – but because every single one of us is going to go through some type of grief and if you are not going through it right now then there will be somebody that you can help with this in the very near future. And we all want to help but we are honestly not going to be of a whole lot of help to someone if all we can say at their time of heart-breaking, gut-wrenching grief is, “Uh…sorry.”

And that may be the best thing to say sometimes or it may even be too much sometimes but what a blessing it will be to you or your friends to know this lesson before either of you need it, instead of years later like it has been for some of us.

If you have your Bibles, turn to II Samuel. There should be a Bible in the seatback in front of you if you need one. I told you last week that the 2 books of Samuel are story books of the Bible and they contain some of the best-loved and best-known stories in the entire Bible. My very favorite story in the Bible comes from I Samuel 14 where Jonathan and his armor bearer go up the side of the cliff and karate chop 20 Philistines by themselves! It’s a great story. I don’t know that they used karate but there had to have been some skills going on up there.

Other stories don’t always have happy endings. One of the wonderful things about the Bible is how it doesn’t gloss over or sugarcoat what really happened. When somebody makes a mistake it tells about it, sometimes in great detail. And I say that is wonderful because, unlike most of you, I have made some really bad decisions in my life and it has been invaluable to me to see that not only am Inot the only one to make bad decisionsand to suffer the consequences of them but those decisions don’t mean that God is through with us. He can and will forgive us and help us through the consequences and I know that, not only in my own life, but through stories like the one we have before us this morning in II Samuel 12, verses 15-23.

You know the setting for this passage. It started with King David being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He saw Bathsheba on the roof top and one thing led to another, as they say, and pretty soon there is a baby involved. An innocent baby is conceived by the not-so-innocent and because of that sin, David is informed by Nathan the prophet that the baby will die.

And that is where we pick up the story. We pick up as the car comes to a skidding stop leaving black marks and tire smoke coming up from the road. David had everything he could ever want. He thought he was in control and everything was bopping along just fine but God slammed His sovereign foot on the brake pedal and now everything has changed for David. Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe you can relate to the intense grief that David is going through. And while everyone’s journey through grief is different and everybody reacts differently, we can learn from what David did and his response to his grief and we can learn about God’s response to his grief as well.

After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. ¹⁶ David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth^[a] on the ground. ¹⁷ The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. ¹⁸ On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.” ¹⁹ David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” ²⁰ Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. ²¹ His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!” ²²He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ ²³But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Even with all of their similarities, this is quite a different story from the one in which we looked last week. Last week Hannah prayed for a baby and God blessed her with a healthy baby boy. She prayed fervently, even fasting and crying and begging God for the child and God was merciful. This week David does the same thing and God does not answer his prayer as David had asked.

Is that right? Is that fair? Is that what we should expect from sovereign God; at best a 50/50 chance? Maybe that’s how you feel about your situation. Maybe you feel that what you have gone through isn’t right or fair and honestly, you may be right. It may not necessarily be fair but it is something you are going through. It is reality and one of the first things you have to do to get through this journey of grief is to come to grips with the fact that this really happened. It’s not a dream and fair or not you have some decisions to make.

Experts tell us not to make any major decisions within the first year after a significant loss and that is wise council. Grief has a way of making you not think straight and so don’t decide to sell the house or buy a yacht or get a full-back tattoo without getting lots of wise advice from others you trust that are not grieving. And then follow their advice.

But you do have decisions you will have to make and since grief makes everything compress, your long-term planning may go from “What will I do in the next 5 or 10 years?” to “What am I going to do in the next 5 or 10 minutes?” And so, through this story I want to look at how we respond to our grief and how God responds to our grief. And if that outline looks similar to last week’s it is because it is identical to last week’s and yet I hope to see something completely different in this story than what we saw last week.

Back in the early 90’s I worked in a feed store where we sold feed and supplies for all kinds of animals. One of the big sellers for a long time was Mane ‘n Tail Shampoo. It was made for horses but we rarely sold it for that. Word got out that it was great for human hair and we couldn’t keep it on the shelf. Women came in like crazy to get their hands on it.

I remember one time when my boss was in the store and then my boss’s boss came in and we were talking around the front register when a lady came in and asked for the Mane ‘n Tail so I showed her where it was and then I explained how it worked and how to use it. All the while I could tell that my bosses were watching me and so I gave her the whole spiel about how good it was. Then I rang up the sale at the cash register, bagged it up and gave her the receipt like a good employee and she left. As soon as she walked out the door the 2 big wigs started dying laughing and they asked me what I said to her because they couldn’t hear my great sales pitch.

What they found most incredible was that as they watched me talk to her, I actually took off my ball cap and pointed to my own head as I talked, obviously making a point and yet she still bought the shampoo and the conditioner. Well, I made some smart-alec comment about just being that good of a salesman and then I walked off.

Well, I want to channel that same salesman this morning as I make the case that David’s first response to his grief was the correct response. His first response, as we see in verse 16, was to pray. It says he pleaded with God. And the reason it may be hard to make that case is because somebody might look at that and say, “Yea, that worked for Hannah but fat load of good it did for David. That was a waste of time. He would have been better off doing his own thing instead of fasting and praying.” And I can understand that thinking. But it would be incorrect.

Let me start by asking,“What is prayer?” Is it explaining a situation to an unknowing, unseeing God who needs your input to understand what’s going on? Of course not. Then why should we pray in our grief? Why should our first response to grief be to fall to our knees in prayer? I’ll give you a couple of reasons. First, we should pray because God says to (and that should be enough). It should be enough to know that there are benefits of obedience. Matthew 26:41 says "Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you.” In Luke 18, Jesus tells his disciples that they should always pray and not give up. Ephesians 6:18 says “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” So, we should pray just because God tells us to.

But for all of you rebels out there; for those who don’t have the experience to know that obedience is enough, let me give you another reason and I go back to the scriptures for this as well. Proverbs 3:5-6 were written by Solomon, David’s son many years after the passage we are reading this morning. It is advice that I am sure was learned from his father who had dealt with this grief correctly. It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

“In all your waysacknowledge Him”. Even when you don’t know which “way” is up. Even when your way is confused and hurt and your way has been abused and taken advantage of and life isn’t fair, take that to God. Do you know what God doesn’t want to hear? God doesn’t want to hear, “Hey, this isn’t fair! Who do you think you are?” Do you know what God longs to hear from you? “God, this isn’t fair and I don’t understand why I have to go through this. Can you please explain to me or show me what you want me to understand through this horrible time, please?” There is a world of difference in those two questions and God wants you to come to Him with the right attitude and with right motives and He wants to hear from you so you can hear from Him, because He loves you.

And that is how we should respond to grief and it leads us right to how God responds to our grief. Last week we saw that God responded to Hannah’s grief by answering her prayer as she wanted but I made the point that it was because she prayed in her grief that she was blessed with the child. I don’t think it would have happened if she had not prayed. It had not happened in all the years leading up to that point so I believe God was waiting to hear her fervent prayer.

You have heard before that God will answer your prayer either yes, no or wait and this week we see God’s answer to David was a definite no. God did not allow the child to live. Again, I cannot comprehend how that must have felt and we have learned from our “Journey Through Grief” video series that even if someone has had a similar loss, every loss is different and every person grieves differently and one is not necessarily better than another.

But what did David do when he heard the bad news? What would you have done? See, now is the perfect opportunity for David to freak out and do something stupid. Can you imagine what he was going through? Not only did he just lose his infant son but he knows that it was directly related to his sin. That kind of guilt has done in lots of people. He could have gone off and drank himself to death or run off and done what the others thought he might do and take his own life somehow.

But what does he do? Look at verse 20. He got cleaned up and he went and worshiped and then he got something to eat and then in verse 24 (we didn’t read that verse) it says he comforted Bathsheba. I’m sure Bathsheba was grieving intensely as well and he comforted her. I propose to you this morning that what David did was not normal. It was not a natural thing, in fact, it was a supernatural thing that allowed him to start his journey through that grief and even bring comfort to Bathsheba.

That was God’s response to David’s grief. Because David prayed; because he prayed fervently and continued to pray, God answered his prayer. It was not answered in the way David had asked but it was answered by the merciful and forgiving God who does not want His children to drown in their grief. It was answered in the way that was right and just and best for David and for the Kingdom of God and so sovereign God heard David’s cries. And being a God who is familiar with grief He allowed David to have wisdom and peace even in David’s worst day of grief. And not just some peace, God gave David enough peace so that he could go to Bathsheba and give her peace as well. That is peace that passes all understanding.

It doesn’t mean that David was through with his grief. In fact, this was just the beginning and I am sure David thought about that day for years and years. And just because he got up and ate something and worshiped doesn’t mean that he didn’t mean what he prayed or that he didn’t love the child as much as somebody else loves their child. It means God gave him grace and mercy to start his journey through grief and allowed David to grieve properly and not destructively.

David’s response to his grief was to go to his Creator and Sustainer and his Friend in despairing conversation, being honest and respectful but being able to ask any question. God’s response to his grief was to give David what God knew he really needed and to give it abundantly because that is how God works. Ephesians 3:20 says that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

Jesus said in John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." That was His reason for coming! Don’t miss out on that, especially in your time of grief. He wants you to talk to Him so that He can talk to you and give you an abundant life even in the darkest times of your life. Will you accept that from Him today?

“Good Grief”, Part 1 – I Samuel 1:1-20

I live about a block away from Eastside Cemetery in Bridgeport and I find it a very peaceful place to walk and pray sometimes. Some people might find it creepy but I enjoy walking through there and I like to look at the headstones, some of which date back to the early 1800’s. What strikes me here lately is that for every one of those headstones there is a person or group of people that grieved that passing. Every time there is a loss, there is a response to that loss and that response is called grief. And every one of those stones represents somebody’s grief.

Quite a few of those headstones make note of the military service by the one buried there including some who served in the Civil War, which just fascinates me. I saw one the other day that said this man was born in 1922 and died in 1944 as a soldier in the army. I’m sure he died while serving his country in combat at the age of 22. I think about his family grieving when they got the news from the State Department; how awful that must have been. But I appreciate that young man’s service so much and wish I could tell him so.

But while that man knew of the dangers of military service and there is pride mixed with the grief of his family, there are several other headstones that really break my heart. There are several in which the date of birth is the same as the date of death. Obviously this was a stillborn child or one who didn’t live more than a day. Some of the really old ones don’t even have a first name. Evidently, back then the family didn’t pick out a name until after the child was born and they didn’t even get the chance to do that.

I stand looking at that rock with one date and I can’t help but ask God “Why?” I can come closer to understanding a grown man dying in combat but I don’t understand this. And as a man I know I will never comprehend the special bond between a woman and her baby and so I hate to think about how that mother must have grieved. We have talked before about why bad things happen to us and I have some answers but we will never completely understand why things like this happen until we get to Heaven.

Our focus for the next 3 Sundays will not necessarily be why these things happen but instead we will look at our response to our grief and God’s response to our grief. We will see that sometimes God answers our prayer as we would like and then sometimes He doesn’t but in the end He is able to sympathize with our grief.

Our first example will be from the book of I Samuel where we see the story of Hannah. First and Second Samuel are story books of the Bible. They tell some of the history of the nation of Israel but in doing so we learn a lot about not just the people but of the character of God Himself. In these stories we see how we are supposed to act and how we are not supposed to act and how God treats people in common and uncommon situations.

So, turn to I Samuel chapter 1 and we will read verses 1-20. And I apologize beforehand for the massacre of some of these names.

There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite^[a] from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. ² He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. ³Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh , where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. ⁴ Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. ⁵But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.⁶ Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. ⁷ This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. ⁸ Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” ⁹ Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh , Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house. ¹⁰ In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. ¹¹ And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” ¹² As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. ¹³ Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk¹⁴ and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” ¹⁵ “Not so, my lord,”Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. ¹⁶ Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” ¹⁷ Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” ¹⁸ She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. ¹⁹ Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. ²⁰ So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,^[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”

So, we basically have 4 main characters here: Elkanah the husband and his 2 wives, Hannah and Peninnah (I see a problem here already) and the priest Eli. It’s interesting that the subject of polygamy is not brought up here at all but I can’t help but think that part of the reason God wanted this story told was to illustrate just one of the problems with that arrangement; you know, just one of the problems that women cause. J

No, the problem we have here is that Hannah can’t have children and wants to and Peninnah can and is rubbing it in to Hannah every chance she gets. And while I can’t comprehend the bond between a mother and her child, I sure can’t understand what Hannah is going through because there is also a culture issue at play here. In biblical times it was a woman’s whole reason for being to bring babies into the world. They didn’t have all the same opportunities that women do today. Their job was to provide children for the husband and preferably male children so that the family name and business could be carried on.

And since Hannah couldn’t bear children, I’m sure she felt like a failure as a person and as a wife. It could be that the reason Elkanah got Peninnah as a wife was because Hannah couldn’t have kids. Think about how that must have made Hannah feel. Because she couldn’t do the job, her husband brought in a pinch-hitter who was now batting a thousand and also going out of her way to make Hannah feel bad about it.

3 times a year every male was required to go to the temple and make sacrifices and so Elkanah would take the whole family and like everybody else, they would make it into almost a vacation. Elkanah would give part of the meat to be sacrificed to each member of the family and he would give Hannah a double portion. That should have made her feel special but Peninnah and her kids got a lot more in total and then Hannah would feel even worse.

Now all of this may even sound a little silly to us today because, like I say, there is a cultural issue here that we can’t understand completely. But this gets us into what I want us to see this morning. I want us to see:

1) Our response to our grief

2) God’s response to our grief.

In looking at our response to our grief, I want you to know that how you grieve may seem silly to others but that’s ok. The thing about grief is that no 2 people grieve in the same way and just because you grieve one way and somebody else grieves another does not make one right and the other wrong. Even if one is more common than the other it doesn’t necessarily make your grief process wrong or weird. It is up to us as those who are not grieving to be sensitive to your grief and not do anything that might make it worse.

Poor Hannah was getting it from all angles. First, Peninnah was making fun of her situation and there is no justification for that. But Elkanah wasn’t much more help even though I think he was trying. I’ve said for a long time that somebody could make a lot of money by starting a business where you just listen to people. I even came up with a name: “Ears to You”.

Now, as an employee of “Ears to You”, you would be trained to say only a very few sentences. You would be trained to say, “Really?” and “Why is that?” and “Tell me more”. Other than that you would pretty much keep your mouth shut. The thing is I don’t think there would be many male employees of “Ears to You”because guys usually want to fix things.

That’s what Elkanah was trying to do. He explained the situation and then couldn’t understand why Hannah was still grieving. Well, Hannah didn’t need or want to be “fixed”. Her grief was natural and even good even if nobody else understood it. If anything, Hannah needed to be told “You mean more to me than 10 sons” instead of “Don’t I mean more to you than 10 sons?” in verse 8.

Another example of how Elkanah wanted to ‘fix” her was asking her why she was crying and why she wouldn’t eat. We have learned in the video series that we are going through on Wednesday nights on “The Journey Through Grief” that people going through grief will often not want to eat or sleep. Or they may only want to eat or sleep. Neither one is particularly healthy, physically, but neither is uncommon or wrong as far as emotions go.

Many people will experience changes in sleep or appetite as well as loss of short-term memory, an increase in colds or flu, a loss of what is perceived as logical thought and a loss of interest in things that used to interest you. Some people want to talk all the time about it and some people clam up and become workaholics. If you have experienced any type of grief, you may have even been angry with God or angry with yourself. Again, these are normal feelings and you are not the first to experience them. You don’t have to be afraid of these feelings but you don’t have to live with them forever either.

There is a balance in getting all of these feelings out and not keeping them bottled up or denying that they exist and then the other extreme is continuing to drag yourself through all that pain longer than you have to. Experts tell us that the average recovery time for significant loss is one to two years, and it is possible to grieve actively for up to five years without becoming pathological.

I’m sure Hannah was feeling terribly lonely at this point in her life. Even in a big family she must have felt all alone. Even the priest misunderstood her at first and told her to get rid of the booze. Oh, that had to help. That’s what she needed. But in spite of this I believe Hannah did at least 2 things right. #1-She was honest. She told Eli that she was deeply troubled. She didn’t try to gloss it over. She came right out and told someone that she was hurting instead of trying to “John Wayne” through the pain.

#2 – She prayed. And she didn’t just pray a little sentence prayer. Verse 12 says she kept on praying to the Lord. She prayed fervently. It says she prayed in bitterness of soul. She prayed and she cried and she prayed some more. And the truth is prayer is one of basically 2 choices we can make when we are grieving. We can go to God in prayer to get help supernaturally from the creator of the universe or we can try to solve it ourselves. And just for comparison, how has that worked out for you in the past?

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is James 5:16 that says, “The fervent prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Let’s look now at God’s response to her grief. Verse 20 says, “So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.” Is that God’s response every time we pray fervently? No, of course not and we will see that more in depth next week but I believe it would not have happened if she had not prayed.

See, God wants you to pray. He wants to hear from you. He wants to hear you say you are hurting. He wants to hear you say you are angry at Him. He can handle that. The other option would be to lie to Him and He doesn’t want that. So, take it to God in prayer and continue to take it to Him, for years if necessary. Let me tell you how God feels about your grief. Better yet, I want y’all to tell us. I have passed out some slips of paper with a verse on each one. There is no order. Just read it out loud so we can all hear.

Isaiah 41:10'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Isaiah 43:2"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.

Revelation 21:4and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve, as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Romans 8:18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Matthew 11:28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

Psalm18:2The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 23:4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 73:26My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

Does anybody else have one they would like to share? This list is not exhaustive. However you choose to grieve, however long it takes, however many people it takes to help you through the process, please know that the process is necessary, normal and even good for you. And nobody wants to help you any more than your church family. But God does the healing and He says in Philippians 4:7 that, “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Do you know Him today? That promise in Philippians is for His children. And He wants you as His child. Whether you are grieving today or you might be grieving tomorrow, He promises peace to His children.

“So What?” – Part III– John 14:1-6

If you could spend an evening having dinner with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be? Now, for the sake of the story, don’t say Jesus. We all know that’s the right answer and what we are supposed to say, but for now let’s don’t say it. With whom would you like to spend an evening eating your favorite foods? Mexican food with Pancho Villa or lasagna with Michelangelo or sausage and sauerkraut with Albert Einstein? Or how about Greek food with the apostle Paul, Jewish food with King David?

Now, what if you knew that whatever person you chose would pick you as their answer to that question? How much fun would it be to know that the person you wanted most to be with also wanted to be with you? You could sit and talk and eat for hours. Now, the problem with actually having a night like that is that it always has to come to an end. Don’t you just hate it when a great evening ends?

Well, I have some good news. In fact, I have good news on top of good news. Imagine actually being able to enjoy whatever food you want with whomever you want and never having to worry about running out of time. That is just the smallest of pictures of life in Heaven. And even better than all of that, you could enjoy that meal with Jesus Himself. Can you imagine sitting down at a real table and eating enchiladas with Jesus, talking and laughing and asking each other questions? Because He has chosen you as a believer in Him to spend eternity in fellowship with Him, you can spend as much time with Him as you want, knowing He wants to eat enchiladas with you too.

That’s a pretty powerful vision for me, not just because I like to eat but also because I can’t imagine Jesus wanting to spend time with me and yet the Bible would teach us that He does. That’s a far cry from what most people think about how Heaven is going to be. What is the stereotypical view of Heaven? What do all the cartoons show people doing in Heaven? Sitting on a cloud strumming a harp. How boring! I don’t want to do that. That would not be Heaven for me and probably not you.

Gary Larson was the artist for the Farside cartoons and I remember a cartoon he drew one time with that picture of a man sitting in Heaven on a cloud with a harp in his lap. The caption read, “Wish I had brought a magazine.” Why is it that Heaven seems to get such a lame rap? Why is it that Heaven, the place of all joy, all happiness, all health, all fulfillment, all everything we want is depicted as a place that makes people say, “So what if there is a Heaven?”

It’s not the Bible’s fault. The Bible is full of information about Heaven and we will discuss some of what it says today. But where does this misinformation come from? I’ll tell you where it comes from. It comes from the father of misinformation, the father of lies, the opposer, the accuser, the adversary Satan. Satan doesn’t have to prove to us that there is no Heaven. He just has to convince us that Heaven is a boring place and if we believe that then we will be robbed of our joy and anticipation. We will set our minds on things of this life and not the next and we won’t be motivated to share our faith. (Heaven, Randy Alcorn)

Revelation 13:6says that Satan opened his mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in Heaven. What better way for the devil and his demons to attack than to whisper lies about the very place that God tells us to set our hearts and minds? Let’s set our hearts and minds on it this morning by turning to a beautiful passage in the book of John.

This passage is one of my favorites. It has fascinated me since I was a little kid. It has comforted at funerals and has been used to lead people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus. Turn to John chapter 14 and we will read verses 1-6.

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. ² In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” ⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” ⁶Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I don’t know about you but to me that passage is like a favorite pair of old blue jeans. I have read it a thousand times and it always makes me feel good. I’m always glad to read it and every time I do, I feel like I found 5 bucks in the pocket. You know what I mean? It’s a gold mine of good stuff.

You can use this passage to teach all kinds of things but I want to see just 3 things this morning.

1) Heaven is a place.

2) Heaven is a prepared place.

3) Heaven is a prepared place for prepared people.

Every culture that has ever existed has had some sense that this life was not all there is. Anthropological evidence shows that everybody from the Australian aborigines to the Mayans to the Native American Indians has had some kind of God-given sense of the eternal. That’s why you may have heard before that it takes more faith to be an atheist than it does to believe in God.

It is natural for us to consider an after-life even if we have never read the Bible because God put that in us. We are wired to see creation and realize there must be a Creator. And if there is a Creator then there must be more to this life. That is especially important to those who go through life in great pain or need or without ever feeling fulfilled. And this nasty old life can sure be that way for a lot of folks. If this is all there is to life then I would have to think it’s not really worth it.

The problem is that too many people see the afterlife just as bad if not worse. It scares people to think of the great unknown especially if we are going to fly around like Casper the ghost singing “Holy Holy Holy” all day up in the clouds. When Jesus told His disciples, “In my Father’s house are many rooms…I am going there to prepare a place for you” He deliberately chose common, physical terms to describe where He was going and what He was preparing for us. He wanted to give His disciples and us something tangible to look forward to – an actual place where they and we would go to be with Him.

He did this because of the fact that Heaven is a place. It is not a state of mind. It is not some spooky, spiritual spectrum of consciousness. People often say things like, “Well, we just can’t know much about Heaven until we get there.” Or,“She’s in a better place; a place of the great unknown.” “We can’t even imagine what Heaven is going to be like!”

Well, actually we can imagine it. We might not be able to do it complete justice but we have an idea because it is going to be similar to how we live right now. When Marco Polo returned to Italy from China he described China as a world that his audience had never seen. They felt he was making it up but it wasn’t that China was a fairy tale or a lie. It was similar to Italy in that it had streets and mountains and trees and people but it was just different.

The Bible teaches that Heaven is a familiar, physical, tangible place; a place that we will be very similar to what we know here on earth. Heaven is described as having streets, buildings, cities and countries. It is said to have walls, gates, real gardens, banquets and bodies. Yes, we will have physical bodies. Just as Jesus was resurrected and then came back in His physical body in Acts 1, so will we. Moses and Elijah appeared physically with Jesus at the Transfiguration and so it makes sense that we, too, will have physical bodies in a physical world.

The Bible teaches that we will be known in Heaven as we are known on earth. Jesus says in Matthew 8:11, “many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven”.

Obviously we will somehow recognize each other even though we will have perfect bodies as it says in Philippians 3:21, in heaven Christ “will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body”. So, while we can’t know everything about Heaven we can know that it is a real place.

And not only is it a place but it is a prepared place. In verse 2Jesus says that He is going to prepare a place for you. I wanted to know exactly what that meant so I looked it up in the giant concordance I have of biblical words. I looked up “prepare” and “place” and do you know what? I didn’t learn a thing. It means to prepare a place, just like we would use those words.

I’ve told you before about going up to Wyoming to see Yellowstone Park a few years ago. It is an incredibly beautiful place and I would love to go back there some time. In some places it feels like another world because it is so different than anything I’ve ever seen. I stopped at some point just along the side of the road to look over a mountain range and I decided to walk down the mountain I was on just a little ways. There was no path and this wasn’t a rest stop. Nobody else was around and I’m quite sure nobody would ever find me if I fell down the mountain into the heavy brush. (That may be why there was a fence with a warning sign right there now that I think about it.) But anyhow, I walked down a little ways and looked around and then started back up and I saw on the backside, the downhill side, of one of the trees was a vine growing with a big, beautiful flower growing on it. It was a huge flower with bright yellow and orange and red and green. And it was growing way down the mountain on the backside of a tree.

I stared at that flower for a long time and I wondered if God had put that flower there just for me because He knew I would be the only one dumb enough to walk down there…or if He made it just for Him and I just happened to see it. At another solitary place out in the desert with nobody around for miles and miles he prepared an incredible sunset and it was like God said, “Here, Todd, this is for you.” And those were just fleeting moments of God showing me His handiwork. Can you imagine what Heaven is going to be like? He has prepared a place for you; just for you, customized by Jesus just for you.

Hebrews 11:10 says that Abraham “was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” Can you imagine what the buildings are going to look like in Heaven? But there will be more than just buildings he is preparing for us. In I Timothy 6:17 we are told to “put our hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” I believe we can expect to find continued enjoyment in Heaven. In Isaiah 25:6 it says, “On this mountain theLord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine— the best of meats and the finest of wines.” I would like to point out what is not mentioned here. There is no mention of vegetables! No veggies. There’s no broccoli in Heaven. Nope.

God has prepared a place for you; you personally; not one generic place for everybody but He has hand-prepared a special place just for you. In other words, God loves you so much that He wants you to enjoy your place in Heaven just like a good father here on earth would want his kids to enjoy their place.

When my oven didn’t survive “the bacon incident” a few months ago, my mom told me she wanted me to have her little toaster oven. She said she got it at a garage sale but it worked great and she had spent a long time cleaning it up. It was bigger than most and she really wanted me to have it because it was so nice. She told me she hardly ever used it and so I should take it. I knew she did use it but she insisted and it has worked great ever since. I know that gave her great joy to give that to me because she loves me and wanted me to have something that worked well.

Can you imagine the joy it will bring to Jesus to know that you are enjoying your place, your mansion, your room, whatever it is? It is just the right color and has everything you want and more. What kind of a father would welcome his child home saying, “Well done my good and faithful child! Now here is your shed to crash in. Don’t mind that old mower. Just push it over to the side but don’t step right there. That board is loose.”

No! The same God who loved you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you has prepared a place for you in heaven close to Him for eternity.

That should bring great joy and anticipation to all of us. Well, it should bring joy to those who are prepared. Because just as Heaven is a prepared place, it is a prepared place for prepared people. Last week in our study of Hell, we looked at Revelation chapter 20. And the last verse of that chapter says, “Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.” Those who are not prepared will not have their name written in the book.

Ruthanna Metzger, a professional singer, tells a story that illustrates the importance of having your name written in the book. Several years ago she was asked to sing at the wedding of a very wealthy man. The invitation said the reception would be held on the top two floors of Seattle ’s Columbia Tower . At the reception, waiters in tuxedos offered luscious hors d’oeuvres and exotic beverages to the guests. The bride and groom approached a beautiful glass and brass staircase that led to the top floor. Someone ceremoniously cut a satin ribbon draped across the bottom of the stairs. They announced the wedding feast was about to begin. Bride and groom ascended the stairs, followed by their guests.

At the top of the stairs, a maitre d’ with a bound book greeted the guests outside the doors and asked for their names.

“I am Ruthanna Metzger and this is my husband Roy”

“Would you spell it please. I can’t find it.”

Searching some more, the man said,“I’m sorry but your name isn’t here.”

There must be some mistake. I am the singer. I sang for this wedding!”

The man said, “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you did you cannot come in because your name is not in the book.” “Waiter, please show these people to the service elevator.”

She said she was humiliated as they walked toward the elevator and passed by beautifully decorated tables with shrimp, salmon, and incredible ice sculptures. They passed through the area where the orchestra was practicing with all the musicians dressed in dazzling tuxedos.

They made it to their car and her husband asked her what happened. She told him she got busy and didn’t think she would need to RSVP since she was the singer.

We learned last week that to be cast out of Heaven won’t just mean having to go home. It will mean being thrown into the lake of burning sulphur. And no explanation or excuse will matter. You can explain that you were a member of a Baptist church and that your Mama was a Sunday School teacher and Daddy was a preacher but God is going to say,” You can’t come in. I never knew you.”

God has prepared a place for you if you have prepared a place in your heart for Him. John said in I John 5:13, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” But what does it mean to believe? It means that you have given your life to Him in full faith and trust and that since your sins are now forgiven you have devoted your life to Him. Does that describe you? If so, then you should be looking forward to Heaven with all your heart. It is a real place that Jesus has prepared for each one of us. But you have to be prepared. Why not do that right now?

*Special credit to Randy Alcorn’s book entitled Heaven for much of the information in this message.

“So What?” – Part II – Rev. 20:11-15

For those of you that are new here, you might think you caught me on a bad day. You might think the pastor is in a bad mood or not on his game or something but today’s message is a little bit different. I usually start by doing something or saying something that will be dramatic or get your attention but due to the somber nature of the scripture passage before us this morning I would like to go straight to the Word and read Revelation 20:11-15. Please turn there if you have your Bibles.

¹¹ Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. ¹²And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. ¹³ The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. ¹⁴Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death.¹⁵ Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

Now that we have read the passage you can understand why I don’t want to start with a joke or by doing something funny. I believe of all the passages in the Bible, this one should be the most motivating of them all. It should motivate believer and unbeliever alike. It should scare all of us into either making sure that we are true believers and if so, to make sure that everybody else is a believer as well.

I know that anytime someone preaches on hell somebody somewhere is going to roll their eyes and say, “Oh, you’re just trying to scare people into Heaven.” And my response to that would be, “You are absolutely correct!” I will preach it again next week if I thought it was needed. I would come to your house and stand in the yard with a megaphone if I thought that would convince you. How do you read that passage and not want to scream “Jesus” from the mountain top? How do you read that passage and not want everyone you know to be scared of hell? That’s my response.

Now, let me tell you what the Bible’s response is. Leviticus 25 says to fear your God. Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me. Joshua 24 says Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Psalm 2 :11 Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Luke 1:50His mercy extends to those who fear him. In Acts 9 the church grew in numbers, living in the fear of the Lord. And finally from this same book of Revelation 14:6-7 Then I saw another angel flying in midair, and he had the eternal gospel to proclaim to those who live on the earth--to every nation, tribe, language and people.

He said in a loud voice, "Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come.”

Most of you know that I am not usually a “hellfire and brimstone” kind of preacher but I do preach the entire canon of scripture and I will always preach all of it and I make no apologies for preaching something that Jesus Himself spoke of so many times. And so I continue our series entitled “So What?” by asking the question, “So what if there is a hell?” Last week we asked, “So what if Jesus comes back?” and next week we will ask, “So what if there is a heaven?”

I find it hard to believe that anybody could ask such a question about hell, but they do it all the time. The thing is, most people don’t believe in hell and if they do hardly anybody thinks they are going there. And of those few that would admit they believe they are going there they have a serious misunderstanding of the place because they talk about partying down there with all their friends. Or they joke about Satan being afraid they are going to take over or some other foolishness.

They obviously don’t understand this passage and so I want to look at this a little closer. This is a passage speaking about the last judgment that will be cast onto all unbelievers at the end of time. As most of you know there are actually 2 judgments. In II Corinthians 5:10Paul talks about the Bema seat or the Judgment Seat of Christ and it is there that we as Christians will be judged and rewarded for our good deeds and scripture teaches that we will have already gone through that when the Great White Throne judgment takes place where all unbelievers will be judged.

So, with that in mind I want us to see 3 things in this passage this morning. As your bulletin insert says,

#1. God is worthy to judge.

#2. All will be judged.

#3. Hell is the judgment.

Inverse 11 the author, John, says he saw a great white throne. He doesn’t say who is sitting on it and he doesn’t have to. He has had this revelation come from God and John has seen in this revelation God, specifically Jesus, sitting on the throne. And as the King on the throne He is worthy to judge. The same type of person who would ask, “So what if there is a hell?” might also question the authority of the one on the throne making these judgments so let’s look at what makes God worthy.

What makes any judge worthy to judge anything? How many of you saw the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on TV a few nights ago? It was won by Banana Joe, an Affenpincher, whatever that is. It’s a little monkey-faced mutt that looks to me like it wandered in from the junk yard, but what do I know? You see, it is the judge who knows what an Affenpincher is supposed to look like. He knew what the standard is for that breed and so he has the right to judge.

God has the right to judge because he has the knowledge of what we are supposed to look like. We are supposed to look like Jesus. God knows the Law and He knows what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to look and so He is worthy to judge. As Christians, as Jesus-followers, as believers having asked Jesus into our lives and for forgiveness of our sins, God sees us just as He sees Jesus and so we meet the standard. We are pure and spotless just like Jesus because we look like Jesus, not because we deserve it but only through our faith in Him.

Not only is God worthy to judge because He knows the standard but also because He is perfect. In Matthew 5:48we are told to ^“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” He is also worthy because He is the creator. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image.” He is the creator and as such He is worthy to judge. And the worthy judge sits on the Great White Throne.

Not only is He worthy to judge but all people will be judged. John goes to great lengths here to show us that all people will be judged. Everyone, the great and the small, those that have died on land and on sea, from days of old to the present will be judged by the worthy King. All will be judged according to their deeds including Hitler and Stalin down to that foul-mouthed Madonna down to the sweet little old lady down the street who has refused to ask Jesus into her life.

John says the books will be open and those books have recorded everything the unbelievers have ever done, good and bad. Every act, attitude and thought will be recorded and will be read for everyone to hear and then God will judge those people on how they have lived. So many people think they will be judged on a scale where hopefully their good deeds outweigh their bad deeds and when God asks them for an account of all they have done that is where they will point.

is where they will point.

But Jesus, on the throne, the great I Am, will say, “I Am the standard. I Am the way you are supposed to look to get into Heaven. I Am the Way, the Truth and the Life and no man comes to the Father except through me. And you don’t look like me. I modeled the standard while I was on earth. I gave you the rules in my Word. I made it plain what you had to do and your salvation from hell has nothing to do with how many good works you have done in your life but it has everything to do with asking Me into your life to be Lord while you were alive on earth. There are no more chances. You have been weighed on the scales, not your deeds. You have been weighed and have been found lacking. You are judged.”

And just like when the Supreme Court of the United States makes a judgment there is no appeal. There is no more arguing. There is no more evidence to bring out. The Supreme Court has the last word when it comes to justice in America but when it comes to eternity, God is the worthy judge and all will be judged and the judgment is always going to be hell. Hell is the judgment at the Great White Throne. Verse 15 says that anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

Some people get distracted here trying to figure out if this is a literal passage or if it is symbolic. Is it really a lake of fire? How could a lake be fire? Is God really opening literal books or is it something else? And to be honest, I don’t know for sure if it is a literal lake or if it is something else. But remember, this is a revelation to John and he is using the best words he can to describe what he sees and I know that if what he is seeing is not literal then it is worse. I don’t want to know what a lake of fire looks like and I believe that is John’s point here. When it comes to hell it doesn’t matter.

I want you to notice a couple of things in this message. I am not using a bunch of illustrations at all and I’m trying to let the scriptures speak for themselves. But I am also not using any horror stories of people who have been dying and screaming about what they have seen in hell or how they feel as they go there. I’m not trying to be dramatic. I’m not screaming at you and I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or sad.

But hear me say that there is a literal hell and there are literally people all around us who are dying in their sins and going there every day. And when I say that hell is the judgment for those unbelievers I want you to know what the Bible says about it.

Jesus says in Mark 9:44 that the fire in hell never goes out.

Some people think hell is a place much like before we are born. Or they want to think that we will be unconscious but the rich man in Luke 16 was very much conscious in hell and it says he was in torment begging for the beggar Lazarus to dip his finger in water to cool the man’s tongue.

Matthew tells us in chapter 8 and chapter 22 that hell is a place of complete darkness.

Luke 13 teaches that hell is a place of complete separation from anybody else. One of the things about heaven that I look forward to the most is seeing friends and family again that have passed away but in hell the unbeliever is all by himself. Not to mention the fact that he will be completely cut off from God Himself.

Several places mention the fact that hell is a place of absolutely no hope. Hebrews 6:2 and Matthew 25 both say it is a place of eternal judgment or punishment.

The one thing they will have in hell is their memory; memories of all their family and friends, memories of all the people who tried to talk to them about God and heaven and Jesus and knowing that the judge was fair and righteous and holy and worthy and that the only person to blame was themselves.

I don’t like preaching about hell. I really don’t. I look forward to next week when I get to talk about heaven. We could do that every week, just come together and tell ourselves how blessed we are to be going there and what it’s going to be like. But just like preaching about hell, there is a time for that but we can’t do it every week. I appreciate those that went to the Wednesday evening series on soul-winning. We all learned a lot.

But now it’s time to use what we have learned. Sure, we could all stay right here and pat ourselves on the back for being saved but Jesus says in John 4:35 that the harvest is ripe. Romans 10 asks how they can hear without a preacher? Jesus left the disciples with the task of spreading the Gospel to the entire world and there is no Plan B. Everybody we see we ought to be thinking about what we can say in the 30 seconds we have with them at the grocery store or the 30 years we live with them that will bring them to have a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ.

So, while there is no good news to someone already in hell there is still Good News that we can share. And that Good News is that while we were yet sinners Jesus died for us because He loves us so much. He died because the penalty for sin is death and the only way we can pay for that is by death in hell but Jesus paid the debt that we owed with His death on the cross. Then after 3 days He rose again and is the only God of any religion that is alive today and so therefore He is the only true God because only God can defeat death and keep us out of everlasting hell. Have you asked Him into your life today to forgive you of your sins and be Lord of your life?